The Other Ones
by music-is-life-17
Summary: When a damaged Isabella Swan meets an isolated Jasper Whitlock, they realize they weren't the other ones... they were the perfect ones. Rated M A/U B/J
1. The Beginning

_Trophy collectors rejoice:_

_Another carcass, hollowing out, taking less space_

_- Until she disappears, to the smile on that face,_

_A whispered affirmation to a porcelain God_

_As she chokes on societal aftertaste_

* * *

**Isabella**

_**October 5**_

Today is the first day of school for her; a new school, in a new town, with new people waiting to judge her.

Another look on a different face with the same thought. _She could lose a few more pounds, change her hair and clothes. She could do a little more, speak a little less. Speak a little more, do a little less._

Moving again was never in her thoughts, but here she was in another town. Forks, WA was not the best place to be with all the constant rain and grey skies.

The rain and skies provide her the shelter she needs.

They look at her and see someone who needs help.

But the other ones. The other ones look at her and understand her.

They see what she sees and because of that she is…

_Another one._

* * *

_I wanted it back_

_I didn't want it to leave me_

_Cold,_

_Lifeless,_

_Dead._

* * *

**Jasper**

_**October 5**_

Today was the day he finally met her. The one Alice was telling him about. His soul mate.

Today he would finally begin to feel complete. Feel understood. Feel…

_Alive._

Six months in the never changing rain. Never changing grey skies.

Six months waiting for her.

150 years stuck in the same body. A body littered with scars. Scars form surviving the worst.

No one understands him.

No one understands him because to them he is scary. To them his is horrifying.

But to the other ones. To the other ones he is someone strong. To the other ones he is someone great.

Someone to be feared but only because he survived the worst and still made it out.

Because to the other ones he isn't something strange and brand new.

To the other ones he is just…

_Another one._

* * *

A/N: so this is a new story that came to me last night and I just finished tweaking it and making it decent; should I continue or forget it?


	2. Breathe Me

_Trying harder than the average teen,_

_She was just another underachiever with low self-esteem._

_The stick and stones may not break her bones_

_But the words will make her starve herself to death._

_Anti-trophy collectors rejoiced, _

_Hollowing out their empty spaces,_

_As she disappeared leaving no traces._

_Saved by a little tell-tale line and a mercurial aftertaste…_

_Invisible tears are the hardest to forget._

* * *

**Isabella**

_**October 5**_

Dressed in her usual, baggy black sweatshirt and jeans with her over used Chucks, she walked slowly down the stairs.

She followed the smell of the cooking eggs into the kitchen, where she found Charlie, her father and the police chief of the tiny town.

"Good morning bells." He said turning from the stove.

She silently gagged as the smell hit her nose. She opened and closed her mouth multiple times, desperately hoping her throat would cooperate to create the sounds it took to respond.

Finally giving up, she waved with a false smile. That was her perfection, the only one thing she could do correctly. Fake a smile, force a laugh. Yeah she was the perfect actress.

"Ready for school?" Charlie asked, saving her from the breakdown her merciless thoughts were creating.

She nodded and stood taking her empty black backpack into her hands.

Following her father out to his cruiser she sat in the passenger seat and stared wordlessly out of the window, watching the greens blur with the browns and the rain and grey skies following the strange streak patterns on the car window.

Stepping out of the car and into the small filled office, Isabella felt a sudden sense of unease with the close proximity to the other people in the room.

She grew afraid.

Afraid someone would bump into her and feel the bones in her arm through the worn sweatshirt.

Afraid someone would become caught to the sweatshirt and pull up the sleeve, revealing her endless amount of scars.

Just afraid.

Of everything.

* * *

_They always looked at his scars as ugly marks._

_They should consider them as something nice._

_As symbols that something painful in the past has been healed._

_But it hasn't._

_The scars are still there; not only the visible ones._

_No._

_The invisible ones._

_The hardest ones to heal because no one knows._

_Knows that they're there; that they're still leaking the venom tainted blood._

_The venom tainted blood that __**doesn't run through his veins**__._

_But instead sits still and frozen in his veins…_

_Much like his heart does; frozen and silent in his chest._

* * *

**Jasper**

_**October 5**_

With no need for sleep he rose from his perch on the floor and headed for the shower.

Washing off the filth from the day before, he skips past his scars.

Past the reminders of what he used to be.

Past the reminders that his 'family' didn't understand.

Not the mind reader.

Not the future teller.

Not the mother or the father.

Nor the beauty queen or the joker.

The feeling of the mated couples, the mind reader and the fortune teller, the mother and father, the beauty queen and the joker, did nothing to help his feeling of isolation.

If anything they made it worst.

To know that someone somewhere was waiting to be forever mated with a monster, a murderer, made him uneasy and in a sudden burst of anger his hand shot forward, punching the mirror in front of him.

The broken glass tumbling to the floor in front of him shining and sparkling as they caught the light, much like his marble hard skin should if it were to ever catch the rays of rare sunlight.

Donning on the everyday black long sleeve t-shirt and the black jeans with the black worn out boots, he walked at a human pace down the stairs.

"Hello Jasper."

A chorus of the bell-like voices echoed out to him, the sound reverberating in his skull.

A small forced fake smile and a wave was his only reply.

The sympathetic glances and smiles unnerved him. Grabbing his favorite black bag he grabbed the keys to his black Ducati and his black (unnecessary) helmet and sped off towards the school, leaving behind the obvious conversation of his chosen isolation.

He walked to the main office ignoring the heavy stares and adolescent emotions to meet with the new student he had to help find his or her way around.

Stepping into the crowded office Jasper stiffened as a sweet, intoxicating scent hit his nostrils.

He held his breath as a girl who looked around 4'11" to his 6'10", with thick shiny hair that fell in loose curls down to the start of her butt stepped to the front desk.

"Hi my name is Isabella Swan and I'm new here."

The soft melodic voice of this girl had him stuck in place, despite the way the words sounded forced, like she was forcing the words out of her throat. _This was the apparent girl of my dreams_. He thought.

"Yes here is your new schedule and that is Jasper Whitlock, he'll be your guide for your first few days here while you get situated." The secretary said causing the girl to turn.

A breath hitched in his throat and he heard her stop breathing completely and felt the spike in her uneasiness.

A shy wave hidden behind her black hair was the only response he got to the small forced smile and head nod in her direction.

"Jasper this is Isabella." The secretary introduced. "She is in all of your classes on her own effort so showing her around will be easy. Have a good day."

Isabella. _Isabella. _The name revolved in his head before falling effortlessly from his mouth drowned in his southern accent.

"Isabella."

She struggled for a moment to force the words from her throat, her level of embarrassment and unease growing each second.

He shook his head stopping her effort and showed with his gold eyes that he wasn't frustrated with her, before motioning to the door and holding it open for her like a true southern gentleman.

She walked by putting as much space between them as necessary before pausing just outside the door.

Jasper motioned for her to follow him and he heard her light, dancer-like, footsteps echo on the concrete as he led them behind the building.

She stood against the building and he stood in front of her.

She looked at him intently. Searching his face and eyes. His body posture and body language.

He did the same. His past taught him different languages. Different forms of communication. Deaf people use sign language as well as mute people. The blind use braille. _I guess she doesn't like talking. Maybe she signs._

He thought maybe Isabella knew sign language. Slowly he lifted his hands. "_Do you know sign language?_" he signed slowly.

She fidgeted and pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hands, enough to only show her hands as she moved them quickly. "_I don't talk._"

This surprised Jasper. He would only think that with a voice like hers she would love talking. "_That's fine_." He signed in return. "_I don't like talking either_."

The bell rang stopping their silent conversation.

Jasper motioned to her for her schedule.

A small smirk appeared on her face, almost completely hidden behind her hair. "_We have the same schedule. Do you really need mine?_" she asked, rapidly moving her hands.

"_Just being polite_." He answered. "_We have AP Chem. first with Varner._"

She nodded pulling at her sweatshirt sleeves. "_Let's go_."

* * *

A/N: So I had a sudden urge to write for this story. I'm super-duper sorry it took so long but I had the biggest brain fart. This was just the initial meeting and more of their stories. I think I'll come out of third person next chapter but it'll only be in Jasper's POV seeing as though I seem to write easier in his. I hope you like this chapter; review and let me know what you think.


	3. Blown Away

_Dead lay in pools of maroon below_

_Daddy didn't give attention_

_To the fact that mommy didn't care_

_**Queen Isabella**__ the wicked_

_Ruled __**her**__ world_

* * *

**Jasper**

The walk to AP Chem. was a simple one. We walked next to each other with enough space for two other people to fit in between of us, but never once was Isabella out of my view.

I stopped us outside of the door and caught her attention. "_Varner is gonna make you introduce yourself to the class._" I signed rapidly to her at human speed.

Her unease spiked and I started fidgeting from the side effects. "_Isabella calm down._" I signed to her.

"_Please Jasper._" She pleaded with me. "_I can't talk in front of them_."

Her desperation poured out of her like an overflowing sink. I shook off the uneasiness from earlier and put one hand on the door and held the other out to her. "_Trust me_." I signed single handedly.

She looked at my hand and back to my face. Pulling her sleeves over her hands she put one in mine and I opened the door.

I trailed behind her as she handed Varner her schedule.

"Isabella Swan, nice to meet you." He spoke.

He received a nod in response.

"Great another mute." He muttered almost inaudibly to the human ear.

I felt Isabella's irritation spike. "Can I have a seat please?" she spoke quietly but loud enough for only him to hear.

"Uhm yes, you can sit with Jasper." He stumbled over the words in shock handing her the schedule.

I led her to my normally empty table and sat in my seat near the window. She carefully sat on the stool and leaned on the table. As if on habit, she pushed a hand through her beautiful black hair, pushing it away from her face for the first time all day.

Multiple gasps echoed out through the room as her movement revealed her grey violet eyes, framed by long thick lashes.

She turned to me with her eyes closed, her feelings showing her embarrassment.

"_Are they still looking_?" she signed as she shook her hair back into her face. She opened her eyes and made sure her eyes were covered.

I shook my head. "_What's the problem_?"

She shook her head and scoffed a quiet laugh. "_Don't get attached to me; I will always push you away. This is your warning. For your own good, you should walk away and never look back. I will make a complete fuckery of everything._" Her eyes began to water and she paused. "_You seem like a totally sweet guy and I don't want to hurt you. So please, I'm begging you, don't enter my fucked up world, labeled life._" She signed turning to face the front of the room stopping any response I could give.

I spent the whole class trying to decipher her silent speech. When the bell rang, I stood and waited her for the gather her things.

When she finished we made our way to AP British Literature. Banner took her schedule and told her she would be sitting in the desk behind mine.

I sat and turned to face her. "_I'm usually the one telling people they shouldn't get close to me. That they shouldn't get to know me for the risk of getting hurt. Begged and pleaded with people not to touch me, not to speak to me, to forget I existed when we were in the same room._" I paused and ran my fingers on my sleeve. "_I've hurt plenty of people and I somehow doubt what you're hiding is worse than what I'm hiding._"

She looked at me with her piercing grey violet eyes, assessing me silently. "_Do we have to be here at the moment?_" she asked.

I shook my head and grabbed our bags. We snuck past the teacher and headed out towards the parking lot.

"_Woods_." She signed and pointed to the trees behind the school.

We walked through the trees until she stopped in an empty field, hidden by the trees. She dropped her bag and looked at me as I sat on a tree root.

"_You have no idea do you?_" she signed looking up at the sun through the treetops. "_You have no idea what it feels like to hear the words 'you're fat' or 'you're ugly' every seven seconds._" She frowned and pushed her hair from her face. "_To hear how big of a freak you are for being so pale with such dark hair and 'creepy' eyes. To lay down in bed at night and hear the whispers all over again as they curl through your head; to listen that the stupid voice in your head calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all 'a disappointment'. I eat and then I look at myself in the mirror and puke everything up again, then call myself a fucking idiot for wasting such fine food. I puke and starve and cut and drink because I don't want to feel any of this. Puke and starve and cut and drink because I need an anesthetic and it works._"

She paused and seemed to be debating something before she pulled off her black sweatshirt leaving her in her jeans and a black lace bra.

"Fat. Overweight. Ugly." She said frustrated as she poked at her ribs, visible through her skin. "Those words started this; this whole fucked up cycle of eat and puke and starve and cut and drink." She pulled at her skin stretched taut over her bones. "It started with Google. _How to lose weight_. It was innocent enough. I was only dieting, everybody does it, why shouldn't I?" she shrugged and pulled her hair over her shoulders as she turned and to show me her back and all the bones in it. "Counting calories, no big deal right? Until one day I started counting 1000 and I thought 'That's more than enough for the day.' Then I wanted to know how far I could go; 700 for a day. 700 turned into 500. That turned into 300, which turned into 100, before it became 0."

She started crying, silent tears falling down her cheeks as she poked at her almost nonexistent stomach. "And no matter how close the scale is to matching that number, it's never enough. I belong to Ana now and the worst part." She turned to me as her melodic voice trailed off, as her sobs grew louder. "_The worst part Jasper is I don't even care. An eating disorder doesn't mean you never eat and exercise all day, it means you're consumed and being destroyed by that little fucking voice in your head that says, constantly, 'you're fat' and you can't help but believe it._" Her signs became as frantic as her voice was a few moments ago. "_I have scars everywhere, from cutting to feel something, anything, Jasper. Then my anesthetic turned into poison and by now it's too late. I'm maintaining it now straight into my soul and it's rotting me but I can't stop._"

She stopped her signing and looked up to the sky as she fell to the forest floor with sobs racking her tiny body. "I belong to Ana now and the worst part," she shook her head correcting herself, "the hardest part is waking up and not knowing if I belong to Ana or Mia for the day."

Slowly I rose from my seat and walked over to where she was curled into a ball. I sat by her head and soft stroked her soft waves. "Which is which?" I asked softly my accent drowning the words.

"Ana starves, Mia binges." She rolled away from me. "I haven't eaten in two days." She quietly as though I wasn't to hear it.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked. "Something no one knows."

"Why not; no one knows any of what I just told you except my best friend." She said rolling over.

"This is the most of talked, using my voice, in the last seven years." I said looking down at her. I started pulling leaves and twigs from her hair.

"Try nine and then you can talk to me." She said sitting up and shaking out her hair. She froze and held her head in her hands. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." She muttered, the words slurring.

"You okay?" I asked.

She nodded but her emotions told me she wasn't. She was feeling a mixture of dizziness and wooziness.

"You sure?" I asked to clarify.

"Yeah."

I looked at her as I heard the bell ring.

"Can I show you something?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I looked up and realized the sun was higher in the sky. "Can I carry you?"

She looked apprehensive, felt it too. She nodded slowly and pulled on her sweatshirt. I lifted her bridal style and walked through the trees.

She tapped my chest and I looked down at her.

"_My best friend is a vampire_." She signed.

I froze. "What?" I said resting her down. "_What do you mean vampire?_"

"_I mean he feels like you, all cold like and he has red eyes, human drinker_." She rolled her eyes. "_You're a vampire too._"

"_I am._" I nodded. "_But I'm different; I don't drink from humans._"

"_Vegetarian; the eyes kinda blow it_." She shrugged. "_Peter said something about it._"

My brows furrowed on their own accord. "Peter?" I asked. "_My height sandy blonde hair?_"

"_You know my best friend._"

_Apparently you know my brother. _"_I made your best friend._"

She froze and patted her pockets before producing her iPhone. She tapped out a message and tapped her fingers against her chin as she waited. "_Read._" She signed tossing the phone to me.

I caught it deftly and read.

_**Ever plan to tell me who your maker was?**_

_**Jasper Whitlock. He should be at school with you why?**_

My phone rang just as I finished reading.

"''Lo." I said handing Isabella her phone.

"You met my little bit." Peter drawled into the phone. "She's my best friend Major, brother or not, you hurt her I will kill you."

"That's kinda impossible for me to do." I said.

He was silent and I waited for him to process the information I indirectly gave him.

"Your mate is my best friend." He growled loudly into the phone.

"Mate?" Isabella screeched.

"Both of you need to relax." I drawled sitting on the forest floor. I put the phone on speaker and motioned for Isabella to sit as well.

"Major." Peter growled into the phone. "That's my best friend."

"At ease captain." I growled in return.

Isabella smacked my arm lightly. "_You're not animals stop it._" She signed. "Explain." She added for Peter's sake.

"_When I saw you in the office this morning, you know when you looked at me how I froze._" I signed.

She nodded. "_I felt weird. Safe; like I could tell you everything and you'd be fine with it_."

"_That's a part of the mating bond. I'm supposed to be anything you need, a friend, a confident, a lover. Anything. You're supposed to feel safer with me than with anyone else, because I can protect you better than anyone else can._"

"_What does it mean?_" She asked silently. "For us?" she added.

"_It means I can't love another anybody the way I would love you and if you decide to be changed, you can't either because by then you'll be feeling the full strength of the bond. It means we can't be apart for more than a few days because we'd both feel the mating pull; the need to be with your mate._"

She nodded. "Ok."

"Ok you're fine with it or ok this is cool but you can't do it?" Peter asked before I could respond.

"Ok I'm fine with it; it'll just be a while before anything happens." She shrugged. "_Peter doesn't know it but I'm trying to stop. I just haven't started yet._"

"That's fine." I said as she curled into my side. "_I'm always here to help._"

She looked up at me and pushed her hair from her face. "_I'll need your help a lot Jasper._"

"Little bit I'll talk to you later. Major fair warning hurt my best friend in any way I will kill you." Peter drawled bringing our attention to my phone as he hung up.

"Lovely." I drawled heavily and I faintly heard the lunch bell ring. "_I'll always be here Isabella but the lunch bell just rang and it's your first day._"

I helped her off the floor and we walked back to the school. We stopped at my locker and put our books away before I led her to the cafeteria.

She froze just outside the door. "_Jasper I can't do this._" She signed rapidly. "_I can't go in there and pretend everything's fine because no matter how much I want it to be its not. I can't go into that room. Mia will take over and I'll just want to eat and purge all night. I'd rather have Ana than Mia._" She pushed her hair away. "At least I know when I go home I'll be able to sleep."

"_You can't get better if you don't try Isabella. You can't keep focusing on what if's if you plan to get better. If we go into that room and you feel even the faintest hint of the feeling you get when you want to binge I want you to focus on me and only me._"

She looked and felt conflicted. "I wanna get better Jasper." She said desperately. "_But if I go in there I'll fail. I just know it_."

"_Focus on me Isabella. Focus on anything but the food._ _Trust me_." I held a hand out to her. "Please."

She analyzed my face searching my eyes. She nodded slowly placing her hand in mine.

I lightly kissed her hand over her sweatshirt and led her through the door.

She let go of my hand and began playing with her hair as we walked to an empty table all the way in the back of the room.

"_Isabella, how do you feel?_" I asked her as she sat across from me with her back to the room.

"_It's hard._" She shrugged. "_And I think you can get away with calling me Isa._"

I nodded. "_Do you need water or anything?_"

She debated with herself. "_I should eat but I don't want to end up binging; that will never happen._" She huffed and fell forward on the table laying her head on her arms. "Water and a granola bar." She asked softly. "I'm going to hate myself tonight."

I stood and brought her food and drink and was walking back to the table as Rosalie, Emmett Edward and Alice walked in the room.

I set the items in front of her and watched her immediately look at the wrappers.

I took them from her and unwrapped them for her. "_No counting numbers when you're with me._" I said handing her the bar before shredding the water label. I slid it across the table. "_When you're with me you eat food, not numbers._"

She frowned but nodded. "_Be with me always?_" she asked.

I played with the shredded paper. "As much as possible." I looked up when I heard Alice and Rosalie whispering about us. "_My family is going to sit with us._"

She shrugged. "_I can't change that._"

I sighed and slid the water to her.

Em and Rose sat at the table and stared at Isa as she picked at the granola bar.

"You gonna eat it?" Rosalie asked rudely.

Isa looked up from the bar and pushed her hair from her face arching a perfect brow. She mouthed 'problem?'

"Just wondering if you're gonna eat or not." Rose clarified. "You look a little faint."

I growled lowly in my chest. "Rosalie." I warned.

"_It's fine Jas._" Isa signed reaching across the table and patting my hand.

"Can she not speak?" Rosalie asked.

"Rosie." Emmett warned.

"I speak perfectly fine and if you want to keep that pretty face of yours I'd refrain from telling me what to do." Isa said in her musical voice, the melodic tone easing the blow of the threat she delivered. "Not sure how much you know of me but I'll tell you now, I like fire."

Rosalie anger spiked and Isabella's emotions stayed neutral. "I can kill you right where you sit, girl. You know nothing."

Isa rolled her eyes further angering Rosalie. "I thought you were smarter than this. That little threat you just made means nothing to me." She said musically. "If you knew half of what I went through, what I go through you'd be begging for your end. It just so happens if you were to kill me right now, I would be the happiest I've ever been."

She flipped her long waves and fluttered her full lashes at Rose as Edward and Alice sat at the table. "So in the next altercation we have, and let's pray your vampire brain can remember this conversation and overpower that very lovely blonde hair of yours, I'd appreciate if you remember I want to die."

With that, she stood and tossed her granola bar and walked from the cafeteria.

"For future reference that's my mate." I drawled standing up.

I walked in the same direction as Isa and found her sitting on the floor in front of my locker, curled into a ball.

I crouched in front of her and pushed her hair from her face.

She cleared her throat and spoke, her musical voice sounding haunted. "I feel beautiful when I am starving, bones fluttering against fragile dips of skin. Little like porcelain hills, glassy and brittle the china-frail cage of ribs glimmering like starlight. Some days I pull myself into a ball and make myself as small as I possibly can." As she spoke, her voice became more and more haunted as her tears started flowing faster and faster. She looked up at me her grey violet watered. "It's like, I'm not a person. I'm a disease. That's all that's left of me. And if I let go of it, I'll disappear."

"_You're not a disease Isa; my sister is a bitch._"

"_She doesn't know me Jas_." she said sitting up quickly. "_She doesn't even fucking know me and_ _yet there she was telling me how fucked up I am and how much I should eat. I'm waiting for her to come back and tell her how fucking fat I am so I can go vomit everything up. The exact fucking reason I didn't want to go in the fucking room. People are full of shit and judge me before they even know me._" she sobbed as I pulled her into my chest. "And when they get to know me it doesn't even fucking matter because they were right in first place." She cried into my neck. "I don't even know why you could ever want to be with me." she said on a whimper. "You can do so much better than me; so much better than anyone in this fucking school. I'm sorry I'm a failure; that I can't even sit in a cafeteria without breaking down like this. I'm so fucking sorry I'm not perfect."

I let her cry into my shoulder. I heard my siblings walking towards us. "Isa my sisters and brothers are coming." I said quietly to her.

She pulled back and held her hair in one hand away from her face as she wiped her tears. As my family turned the corner, she dropped her hair, covering her face.

She brought a hand to her face, just holding it against her mouth and I felt her nausea. "_Deep breaths Isa. In through your nose out through your mouth._"

She moved her hands enough to sign. "_I can't do this. The staring, the sympathetic looks and smiles. I know I'm a fuck up I don't need anyone else telling me too._"

"_I promise the second you feel uncomfortable we can leave._" I stood up and pulled her with me.

She nodded slowly and played with her hair as my family came to a stop in front of us.

"Sorry about Rosalie Isabella; she's usually not so bitchy." Emmett said for his wife.

Isa grinned sarcastically and leaned against the lockers with a nod.

I felt her discomfort when she noticed the way Edward and Rosalie were staring at her.

Never before had I been happier Edward couldn't read my mind as Isa turned to me.

"_I need to get out of here. I'm going to vomit and it's not about the food._"

I opened my locker and handed her bag to her before taking mine out. I nodded and took her hand walking by my family without a second glance.

We hopped onto my bike and drove around aimlessly.

We ended up in Seattle near the aquarium and the zoo.

"_Can we go to the zoo_?" she asked me as I helped her off the bike.

I nodded and we walked the few blocks to the zoo. We spent the entire day there; talking and getting to know each other.

I dropped her off at her house around 9:30 that night and helped her off the bike handing her the stuffed penguin that was around the same size as her.

She set it down on the porch swing and turned to me. "_I had fun today and I like that I can tell you anything. There's one more thing I didn't tell you though._" She pulled up the sleeves of her sweatshirt and held out her arms. "I cut." She whispered almost inaudibly to my superhuman ears. "Almost daily."

I ran my fingers over her wrists, lifted her hand to my lips, and kissed her scars. Dropping her hand, I pulled up the sleeves to my shirt and put my arms under her porch light. "I scar." I whispered. "Almost everywhere."

As she ran her fingers over my scars, I spoke. "Not for the fun of it. I scar because it was my only way to survive."

She scoffed a laugh. "I don't cut because it's fun; I cut because it makes me feel something other than emptiness. I feel the blood bubbling to the surface just under the razor blade and I feel _alive_."

She looked up at me as I talked. "It wasn't about the feelings it was about the kill or be killed mentality."

"Peter told me about his story." She said stepping closer. "I wanna hear yours someday."

She put her arms around my waist and my own arms snaked around her shoulders, holding her to me. "Someday." I whispered into the cool night air.

She pulled back and I walked back to my bike. I watched her walked into the house with her penguin hugged tightly to her chest.

I sped back towards my home. As I walked into the house, I was met with a furious Rosalie.

I raised an eyebrow at her as I walked my bike into the garage.

"Seriously Jasper. Only you can find the most damaged one and have as a mate."

_Really now because I'm sure you were in spic and span shape when Em found you_. I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me this is serious, she's so damaged its fucking ridiculous."

I opened my mouth to correct her and found that the words didn't come as easy when Isa wasn't around.

Instead I growled lowly.

"Stop fucking growling, your mate is as fucked up as you are."

Without a second thought my hand snapped forward, punching her in the mouth. I crouched down by her head. "I am damaged, so is Isabella." I growled out. "I haven't disrespected you or your mate since I've arrived at this house; I'd expect the same respect or her idle threat will become a reality real fucking fast."

I straightened up and ran away from the house. When I finally stopped and took in my surroundings, I realized I was at Isa's house.

Soft music was floating through her room and out of her open window. I quickly climbed the tree that was placed outside of her second story room.

I looked through the window and noticed that everything was pushed against a wall.

With short shorts and sports bra I could see her every bone. Her feet were covered in ballet shoes and I watched her roll perfectly onto the tips of her toes.

"You're weird Jasper; come in or go home." She said only as loudly as she would if I were to be standing in front of her.

I shook my head but jumped from the tree to the window sill before sliding into the room.

I leaned against the wall and watched her dance around the room.

"_Ballerina?_" I asked when she stopped.

"_Since I was six_." She answered. "_It's what started everything… I was 11."_ She shrugged.

"Isabella."

"_That's Charlie. No matter what you hear, please don't come downstairs._" She pleaded as she pulled on clothes.

"Isabella."

She pleaded with her eyes as she pulled up her hair and ran out the room.

With my perfect hearing I didn't have to strain to hear anything.

"About time you got down here. Where's dinner?"

I heard the sounds of things being opened and closed and forks scraping plates.

"Did you eat?"

There was no verbal response.

"Good wouldn't want you getting fat."

I growled lowly on reflex. I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh and had to restrain myself from running down the stairs.

"Stop that fucking crying. Clean up this mess; I'm going to Billy's."

I heard the door shut just as Isa broke down in sobs. I calmed myself and walked down the stairs at a human pace.

I found her on the floor in the corner of the kitchen with broken glass around her. I crouched in front of her and cupped her red cheek in my hand.

I sighed and sat in front of her. "_Isa breathe for me._" I asked. "_Please_."

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "_I said not to come downstairs._"

"_Isabella._"

"_Jasper."_

I wiped her tears from her face and signed to her. "_Does it hurt?_"

"_I'm used to it._" She signed pushing me away from her as she stood and fixed her hair. "_Nothing new; just another bruise covered perfectly with the right shade of cover up. I've been doing it ever since I was 12; all is well._"

Because she was facing the sink I spoke softly, my words covered heavily with my accent. "This isn't something you should be used to Isabella."

"Tough jizz Jasper, because it is and I am." She said as she turned to clean up the glass that littered the floor.

I sighed and crouched to help her. We finished quickly and I followed her back up to her room.

She sat on her bed and I leaned against the wall across from her.

She stared blankly ahead at the wall next to me and I felt her hunger, just before her stomach growled.

"_Let's go._" I signed to her once I had her attention.

"_Where Jasper; I have to be here when Charlie get back._"

"_You will be; we're not going far._"

"_Jasper if I'm not here when he gets back this,_" she paused and touched her face lightly, "_will be worse._"

I sighed and looked at her. "_Stay here at all times; I have to go hunting._"

The look on her face told me without word she wouldn't be going anywhere.

I took a breath and jumped from her window easily and took off on a sprint towards Canada.

I had just finished drinking from a mountain lion when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

_**Head to Isa's house.**_

I followed Peter's instructions and started the run to her house. I scaled the tree outside of her window and growled lightly in my chest at the scene in front of me.

Charlie was leaning over Isabella as she whimpered in the corner of her room.

"I want an answer when I speak to you." He shouted as he kicked her.

_**Let it run its course.**_

Following Peter's advice was difficult, but I quieted my growl and stayed in the tree.

Charlie finally tired himself out and staggered drunkenly towards her door before stopping. "And you could lose a few more pounds. I almost broke my back lifting you up." He slurred before walking out and shutting her door behind her.

I slipped into the room as she pulled herself to her feet. She limped past me and looked at herself in the mirror.

She had large bruises up and down her side and a boot imprint on her stomach. She sighed and let her hair down before brushing it.

She twisted it before tying it on top of her head, revealing her face.

She walked almost silently across the house to the bathroom and I heard the water running from the sink and the sound of cloth rubbing against her skin.

Soon the water stopped and I could feel her worthlessness and her self-depreciation.

I heard the shower turn on just before I heard the faint sound of her throwing up.

_**Let it be. She'll talk to you when she's ready**_.

I rolled my eyes and wrote Isa a note before slipping out of her window and running back home.

I didn't feel like dealing with everyone so I jumped through the window of my bedroom.

I went straight in the shower and washed off my shitty day.

I pulled on some black sweat pants and a black long sleeve shirt and looked around my room.

It was a deep blood red with black accents and I was bored with it. I started taking things off the walls and moving things around at vampire speed before I sped down to the garage to find black and white paint.

I carried both cans of paint up to my room and stood in the center.

My phone buzzed on my desk and I walked over to look at it.

_**Can you come get me? –Isa**_

_**Please? –Isa **_

I slid on my black boots and quickly cleaned up my room some.

I ran over to her house and slid into her room. She immediately ran over to me, jumping into my arms.

I caught her and took a step back so she wouldn't hurt herself with the impact.

"What's wrong?" I asked lightly as I rubbed her back.

She shook her head against my chest and sighed. "Nothing I just don't want to be here."

I pulled away from her and held her face in my hands. "You need to sleep."

"_I know but I really don't want to be here._" She signed to me.

I sighed and let her go. "_Put on a sweatshirt_." I told her taking in her black sweats and long sleeve T-shirt.

She grabbed her black hoodie and pulled it over her head.

I lifted her into my arms and jumped from her second story window. I ran her to one of my many houses that my family didn't know about and set her down as I opened the door.

I followed behind her as she walked around the house. She came to a stop in front of my favorite room in this house.

"_My favorite room; the music room._"

I opened the door for her and let her walk in ahead of me. She walked around the room and raised an eyebrow and the drum set in the corner.

"_I wanna hear something sometime._" She signed as she walked over to the grand piano in the corner.

She sat on the bench and motioned for me to sit next to her. I sat by her as she played a scale lightly.

She played an easy light melody before she took a deep breath and sang lightly.

"_**Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before; hurt myself again today. And the worst part is there is no one else to blame. Be my friend; hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small and needy. Warm me up and breathe me.**_"

She sang smoothly and easily her melodic voice soft and airy with a hint of desperation.

"_**Ouch I have lost myself again; lost myself and I am nowhere to be found. Yeah, I think that I might break. I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe. Be my friend; hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small and needy. Warm me up and breathe me.**_"

"_**Be my friend; hold me, wrap me up. Unfold me, I am small and needy. Warm me up and breathe me.**_"

She finished smoothly and let her hair down. She wiped her face before she looked over to me. "_I know you heard me earlier._" She signed. "_Why didn't you stay?_"

"_Peter._" I told her honestly, the mating bond making me unable to keep it from her. "_And I didn't know if you wanted me to stay_."

She looked at me intently with her beautiful grey violet eyes as she ran a hand through her hair.

"_I'll always need you to stay Jasper. Always_."

* * *

A/N: so another chapter…you learned more about Isa this chapter. I hope you liked seeing everything through Jasper's POV and feedback is a must. Let me know if you want Isa's POV at any point.


	4. Love to You

_And now she's thinking that she won't fit in_

_Because you said something's wrong with her._

_She can paint a lovely picture_

_Or sing a pretty song_

_But this story has a twist._

_Her paintbrush is a razor;_

_Her canvas is her wrist._

_Her music is the blood;_

_The lyrics, her tears._

* * *

**Jasper**

It's been six months since Isabella's first day in Forks and though she's not perfect, she's better than she was.

At the moment we were sitting in AP British Lit, listening to Banner introduce our project.

The entire point of the project was to write about you and explain the hardest part of anything you go through or have went through.

"Alright, Jasper you're up first."

I rolled my eyes but took my paper and walked to the front of the room.

I cleared my throat before I started to talk softly. "It's not easy writing about something that never was, a ghost if you will. The hardship extends past your emotional capabilities; past anything in your emotional capacities. Your thoughts catch up to your body and you realize, unwillingly at best, that physically you can only hold on to the memory for so long. The longer the time between the memory and reality, the more little parts start to fade, faster than you can keep up; disappearing quicker and quicker with each waking moment until it vanishes. Until it disappears without a trace; like each breath you take, slipping farther and farther away."

I took a breath and continued. "The affectations are the last to go. The memory of details start to fade right before your eyes and the big picture becomes a small illusion, leaving nothing but a small indent remaining as a permanent reminder of something you can't remember. I have all these little reminders littered all over my skin from every time a person reminds me of you. The beauty of you ran more than skin deep and even after you left, you stayed at the surface."

I sighed. The emotions in the room were confusing at best. Some were wary of the presentation. Others, such as Banner, were engrossed with the feeling I was revealing.

"It's been three times since I last saw you like this; the honesty on your too telling face. It felt like centuries when you last looked at me like this. Like we were strangers, yet we know – knew – so much about each other by chance. I ached for you with each word you said; the passion from before tattooed silently on my lips, but I kept quiet until you told me to go. That summer I spent in thought; that you'd want to try again. That you'd promise not to get heatstroke, that you'd unwrap yourself from the past that haunted you so. But you can only unwind so far before you get to the core and realize that space only extends at arms' length. You can't rebuild a complexity as such on sand."

I paused stuck in thought before a small smirk graced my face and I lifted a hand, running it through my hair and revealing my topaz eyes.

Isa smirked in her seat and sent me a small wave of her amusement as the class gasped in shock.

I sent back my emotional laughter as I gained my composure and finished my presentation.

"I said: I never believed in love; love is not an unlimited resource. But you made me think otherwise and I would've given everything if you let me. Maybe I was right. You can put everything into love but if it's not requited you may as well have never tried form the start.

You said: The time wasn't right.

I said: Love would wait, and it did; but you didn't, you were already gone."

I ran a hand through my hair again as I finished and put my paper on Banner's desk before walking back to my seat.

"Your go." I whispered in front of her as I sat in my seat.

She laughed quietly and Banner looked over at her.

"Since that was so funny, Isabella, you may go next." He scolded.

"Awesome." She said quietly to me.

I laughed quietly, sent her my amusement, and waved my hands. "Props for Isabella." I said quietly.

She bent over, fluffing her hair in front of me before straightening up and walking to the front of the room.

I could feel the lust of the males in the room and the jealousy of the girls as she swayed her hips unintentionally, her ass looking perfect in her skin tight skinny jeans and covered slightly by my button down shirt she claimed as her own over Christmas break.

She pulled her hair over her shoulders and let her bangs fall to cover her face as she stood in front of the class and bit her lip.

The lust in the room spiked as well as the jealousy, which jumped as soon as she opened her mouth.

"A girl who seems so happy cries on the bathroom floor. A girl who seems to cope well cuts herself every day. A girl who seems so pretty throws up in the toilet. A girl who seems perfect isn't. The good girls face their feet the wrong way in bathroom stalls, tying their sweet tongues taut to muffle the vowel sounds water-falling into the warmth over their two fingers pointed like guns to their belly. The bad girls sit alone in dark room humming softly to cover their gut wrenching sobs as they count calories and condoms; their bodies skipping periods like mistaken typewriters. Am I a good girl or a bad girl?" she pondered. "I am neither; I am worthless. Hemingway said it best. 'Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.' Maybe I am unintelligent to feel happy while I am dying slowly."

She bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair, revealing her beautiful eyes, and tapped a single finger, painted blood red, to her chin.

She sighed and ran her tongue over her lips, pulling the bottom right corner into her mouth. "I need someone to speak for me. Please?" her voice took on a hint of persuasion and I could feel the lust rise to dangerous peaks as she continued. "Someone speak for me; make them make me better, because I can't make me better and I can't make me worse. I only have the power to stare you in the face and share my riddled metaphors; to stare at myself in the mirror and hate myself, but not change it."

She pulled her forever long, thick waves over one shoulder as she spoke, the lust rising with every syllable her throat sounded and every shape her lips made.

"I feel weak because I want to. I tell myself I'm slowly dying, that I'm slowly withering away, because I wish I was. I wish to be a tiny pile of nothing as I collapse at your feet, ready to be raced to the hospital and chained to machines. Machines that fill me with the things I need; the things that caused this."

She twisted her hair in her hands before tossing it over her shoulder and letting it wave down her back. She crossed her arms under her breast and I shared some of the lust I was feeling with her as well as a warning.

She sent back her amusement and an emotional apology before dropping her arms and finishing up her presentation.

"I want to tell you that my heart is stuttering, every night, when I lie restless listening to the sound of my empty stomach. I slide my fingers under the fabric of my shirt and feel its feeble march beneath my fingertips. I want to bend forward and show you the twists and turns of my spine and ribs and how I don't know how to navigate. Because I don't."

She finished and turned to put her paper on Banner's desk, before realizing her name wasn't on it.

She reached over his desk for a pen and bent, signing her name at the top of the paper, before walking back to her seat.

"I think I did better than you." She whispered as she sat behind me.

I turned in my seat and looked at her. "_Your essay, so violent and volatile._" I signed sharing my false concern with her.

She smiled a small smile and sent me her amusement as she signed. "_Fuck you Jasper; yours wasn't any better. Did someone break your heart?_"

I laughed quietly as I signed back. "_How'd you know; and I thought I was so good at hiding it._"

She giggled sweetly as the bell rang.

I gathered our book and tossed my hand over her shoulders. Over the course of the last six months she became comfortable around me and let herself relax and let down her guard; because of it we became the best of friends.

We walked to AP European History and sat in the back of the room as usual.

She sat on my desk with her legs crossed prettily. "Can we skip next hour; I wanna do something." She asked quietly.

"You are such a bad influence on me." I said as I played with her hair. "Yeah."

She looked down at me and flipped her hair. "_I'm a bad influence on you; may I remind you who skipped for an entire week. Sunshine had shit to do with it._"

"Isabella can I ask you a question?" Mike Newton asked coming over to us.

She fluffed her hair and I felt her irritation at the interruption. "Depends; am I gonna like it or not?"

"I hope so." Mike mumbled too low for her to hear. "Will you go to the spring formal with me?" He asked louder.

Her irritation spiked before I felt her amusement. She smirked behind her hair before clearing her face of any emotion and looking at him.

"Sure why not." She said, her voice taking on a light airy tone with a whole fuck lot of persuasion.

Mike was stunned as the bell rang and the teacher walked in.

"Isabella, are you comfortable on the desk?"

Isa shrugged and nodded.

"It would be me some good to see Jasper throughout the class however so I must ask that you take your seat. Mike may you do the same."

"Asshole." Isa said quietly to me as she slid into her seat in front of me.

I laughed silently and handed her books to her. "You'll be fine." I said in her ear.

She gathered her hair in her hands and twisted it. I moved my books off to the side and let her drop her hair on my desk.

* * *

For the remainder of the class, I played with her hair as she wrote the notes.

When the bell rang we walked to our locker. We put our books away and I leaned on an arm against my locker as I looked down at her.

"You wanna hurry up." We both turned to look at Alice when we heard her voice. "You're blocking my locker.

Isa rolled her eyes and continued brushing her hair.

I smirked and lifted Isa, setting her down in front of my locker, shutting hers and opening mine.

She had a mirror in my locker for whatever reason but I let it be. She growled lowly at me but finished brushing her hair.

"_It's been six months; do you think I can get away with burning down your house and have it look like an accident?_" she asked while we walked towards the 500 building.

"_Possibly but can I move out first?_" I asked when we reached the always empty music hallway.

We walked into an empty classroom and she sat on the teacher's desk as I leaned on one of the smaller desks. "_Of course; I couldn't kill my best friend. Although Peter pushes that on the daily._" She paused and looked at me. "_Speaking of the all-knowing Yoda, did he tell you he was coming to visit?_"

I sent her a small wave of shock. "_When_?"

She sent me a wave of annoyance. "Call him."

I took out my phone as it started ringing. "You're an asshole." I drawled as a greeting. I put the phone on speaker and set it next to Isa.

"Aw is Major upset little bit is angry with him?" Peter drawled in answer.

"Peter." Isa said loudly. Well as loudly as she speaks.

"Sorry ma'am." Peter said quietly. "I'm coming up next week."

"Thank you for sharing with the class." I said.

"Is slut bag major coming with you?" Isa asked.

I sent her my confusion. "_Who?_"

"_Charlotte._" She answered.

"She is; come on Isa you still can't be mad about that. It happened forever ago."

"It happened two days before I left. She's lucky y'all were caked up or else she would've gone up in flames."

"Isa you know you can't talk about that shit too loudly."

She rolled her eyes and snapped her finger causing a pretty purple and blue flame to ignite on her finger tip.

"Jasper knows and he's the only one that does as far as Forks." She said as she waved her hand over the flame and created a fire ball in her palm.

Peter sighed heavily. "I might be up there earlier than next week and Charlotte is coming with me."

"Asshole." Isa said hanging up the phone.

"_Not friendly with Charlotte._"

"_Friendly is not the term I would use; I fucking hate her. She's such a skank._"

"_She was cool when I last saw her._"

She laughed as loudly as she usually did and shook her head. "_No, now you'll think the same as me._"

We laughed as the bell for lunch to start rang.

I walked behind her and pulled her back to my chest when I saw the apple fly across the hallway.

When she finally cleared her hair from her view she looked over at when the apple hit the wall and over to where Jessica threw it.

She huffed as she walked away from me and over to my locker. She opened it and took out her brush, harshly brushing her hair.

"Relax Isa." I said in her ear as I stood behind her. "Jessica is coming over with Lauren." I told her feeling their jealousy.

She rolled her eyes and tossed her brush in my locker before slamming it shut and turning just as the girls came to a stop.

Isa raised a brow and crossed her arms under her chest.

Emmett was waving me over to him. "It's an emergency." He said vampire speed.

I tugged Isa's hair and started over to him. I raised a brow.

"Alice had a vision."

I sent him my curiosity.

"Of Isa burning the fuck out of some blonde."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Peter's coming to visit her. He's bringing a friend that Isa doesn't like. Isa likes fire; she probably threw a match."

"What the fuck is your problem?"

I turned when I heard Isa's screech which was new because she never spoke higher than a loud whisper.

"You are my problem." Jessica screeched back.

I started to make my way over to them as Jessica went into a rant.

"You show up here and have all the guys at you beck and call and you're not even that pretty. You have Jasper freaking Hale following you around like a fucking puppy dog yet he's been here six months before you and has never even spared a second glance at the other girls here. But you show up and it's like he finally sees the fucking light that shines out of your ass. You don't even talk yet people always hand for you to say something mind blowing. I'm pretty fucking sure your eyes are contacts and your hair is full of fucking extensions. You have the perfect body yet you never seem to do anything."

"You know what that sounds like; fucking jealousy. Do you think I really want all these stupid ass people following me around? You take up any Jasper issues you have with him, until then let me get this straight, for you and for any other fucked bitch. I don't speak because I have this weird thing and my voice makes people want to do whatever the fuck I say and it bothers me. My eyes are very much real but yes I do wear contacts, because I can't fucking see otherwise. I'm pretty fucking sure this is all mine; the fakest thing in it is the fucking hair dye. Thanks for the compliment but I'm pretty my 'perfect body' is covered 24/7/365." Isa said lifting her hair and dropping it.

_This has got to be the highest her voice has ever been in school. In front of anyone._

She grabbed my hand and started to walk away. She paused and turned back to Jessica.

"And for the record if you ever touch me in any way ever again it'll be the last thing you do." She said easily.

I let her push me in front of her, making a path for her so she wouldn't have to touch anyone.

I grabbed her hand off my arm and pulled her outside. "_What the fuck was that?_" I asked.

"_That was me having enough of stupid ass children in Forks. Would you rather me go back and start a fire?_" she asked in return snapping her fingers.

"_No what you did was sufficient_." I sighed and looked at her. _"Cafeteria_?"

"If you want." She said extinguishing her finger flame and picking at her nails.

I sighed and pulled her to me, crushing her in a hug. "You're lovely darling." I said lifting her and spinning her around.

She giggled and threw her arms around my neck. "Yeah you're pretty wonderful, too. An awesome mate."

I kissed her forehead as I put her on her feet.

We walked in the cafeteria and I walked with her over to the line.

"_What are you eating_?" I asked her.

"_Not hungry._" She shrugged.

I looked at her and she sighed.

"_Granola bar?_" she suggested.

"_And a lemonade._"

She fidgeted with her sleeves but nodded.

I got her food and grabbed something to keep up pretenses.

We sat our table and she tossed her legs over mine as she leaned against the wall.

I opened her bar and put it on a napkin. She picked at it as I picked at the wrapper for her lemonade.

We both heard my family sit at the table with us but never looked up.

I heard Rosalie slid a paper towards Isa. She grabbed it off the table and read as she chewed a piece of her bar and played with her hair.

"Never that; I like fire way too much." She said crushing the paper and tossing her hair over her shoulder.

She held a hand out for her drink and I slid the bottle to her after I opened it. She took a small sip and leaned against my arm and I played with the food in front of me.

She surprised me by taking a fry off the tray and taking a bite. She held to other half out to my signing with one hand.

"_If I try it you do too._"

I made a face. "_Please don't try anything._"

"_I would think it smells better than my granola bar and lemonade._" She said moving closer. "_Please._" She pouted. "_For me; your mate._"

I groaned silently but leaned forward and ate the fry she was holding out. "_It tastes like dirt and raccoon._" I said spitting the food into a napkin.

She giggled quietly and kissed my cheek. "_I know; I had Peter try it. But thanks for doing it._"

I growled playfully and tickled her.

"Stop, stop I give." She giggled out breathlessly.

I laughed and pulled her into my side. I leaned down and whispered in her ear only loud enough for her to hear.

"Are we staying in school?"

She thought about it and shook her head.

"What are we gonna do?"

She tapped her fingers against my thigh as she thought. "_Aquarium?_" she asked.

"It's all you."

She nodded and signed it again with a final nod.

She climbed over me and picked up Emmett's pudding cup. She leaned across the table and turned it upside down, squeezing the pudding in Alice's lap.

"That my lovely, lovely pixie is for outing my love of fire and dislike of blondes." Isa said causing Emmett and me to laugh.

I stood and took her hand, helping her off the chair.

"Hey guys, can I join?" Emmett asked hopefully.

I looked at Isa. She looked up at me and shrugged.

"_If he comes you have to talk; I talk to Emmett all the time._" I told her. '_He's pretty awesome._"

She glared lightly at me. "Fine." She said waving her hand. "Cell phone stays here." She said to Em.

He immediately pulled his phone from his pocket and gave it to Rosalie.

We made our way out to my truck.

"Can I drive?" Isa asked quietly as she pulled her hair from her face.

"Keep your hair in a ponytail all day and you get to drive and I buy you anything you want."

She took her hair tie off her wrist and held it in her mouth. She bent over and twisted her hair and looped it around her finger, securing it with her hair tie as she straightened up.

"How does it look?" She asked holding her hands out for the keys.

"Beautiful; I can see your gorgeous eyes now." I said handing them over without argument.

"Ass." She laughed climbing into the truck.

I slid in the backseat as Emmett climbed in the front.

Isa sped out of the parking lot and towards Seattle.

"Did you know you're going 95 miles an hour in a 50 zone?" I asked her as she fiddled with the radio. "And playing with the radio."

"My best friends are vampires; I think I can get away with multitasking for the moment."

I sat back in my seat and let it go knowing she was about to get caught.

"We've got company." Emmett called looking out the window.

"Joy ride anyone?" Isa asked with a small smirk.

I sent her a full wave of my irritation and anger. "Pull over."

"Jesus Jas." She said sending me her apology and a hint of love.

_That was new_. I raised an eyebrow at her in the rearview mirror.

She pushed her bangs behind her ear. "_Later; field trip to the cabin?_"

I nodded my assent as the police officer knocked on the window.

"Good afternoon ma'am, gentlemen." The officer said as Isa rolled down the window.

"Hello officer Stern." Isa said quietly sending me her amusement at his name.

"Speak a little louder ma'am."

She cleared her throat. "I said hello officer Stern." She repeated.

"Well ma'am, did you know you were doing 95 in a 50 area?"

"Well yes but you see my friend here is very sick." She said sending me nausea and waving a hand at Em.

I quickly caught on and sent the dose to Emmett who suddenly looked nauseous.

"Very well; license and registration please."

She turned and reached in the back next to me for her wallet. "I can feel him staring." She said almost silently.

"A little nauseous here." Emmett said at vampire speed. "You can finish the conversation later."

I rolled my eyes as Isa sat back in her seat before leaning across Emmett to get the registration.

"Jasper Hale?" he questioned looking at both items Isa handed over.

I waved a hand. "Yes sir." I drawled.

"Why is Ms. Swan driving your vehicle?"

"I wasn't feeling well." I said smoothly.

"Very well; since you were being a good friend I'll let this go as a warning but no more speeding. It's very dangerous."

"Yes sir." Isa said holding back her laughter. "Have a good day."

She pulled off and stayed at a respectable speed. We made it to the aquarium soon after and I hopped out and helped Isa down.

"Where to first?" Emmett asked after we got our tickets.

"I'm feeling stingy." Isa said.

"Jellyfish it is." I said throwing my arm over her shoulder.

* * *

Three hours later we were sitting in the tailgate of my truck as Isa picked at fries, looking out over the ocean.

"You guys are fuck awesome." Emmett said randomly.

"What?" we laughed together.

"You guys are fucking awesome. I mean I know Jasper is pretty fucking amazing but damn Isa you make his amazing look like shit."

"I am still lost so I'm gonna bow out of this conversation." Isa said sliding to lean against the back window of the truck.

"Eat." I said sliding the fries to her.

"I'm full Jas; I ate half of them."

I looked back at her when I was hit with her irritation just on time to see her roll her eyes.

"I'm not drinking the lemonade either. Mate or no mate, if I say I'm not eating it's not happening."

"Mate or no mate you said you want to get better for Peter. I'm helping you do that."

"You're such an asshole." She said throwing the fries at me. "What kind of person says that?"

"Someone who's trying to help you now stop being a bitch, sit the fuck down and relax." I growled at her shaking the fries from my hair.

"No need to be a dick Jasper." Emmett said at vampire speed.

"It's what she needs; see how she sat down and is drinking the same lemonade she said she wasn't going to." I replied still picking fries out of my hair.

I felt Isa shift closer to me and start helping. Her emotions said she was sorry and I sent her my forgiveness.

This wasn't the first time we had an argument like this. Hell in just the past two weeks I've worn seven smoothies, twelve milkshakes, a salad and five plates of pasta.

The outcome is always the same, her silent apology and my silent forgiveness as she helped me clean up.

We both knew it wouldn't be easy but she wants to try and I'm willing to help her.

She sat in my lap and hugged me. "Sorry." She said so quietly I had to strain to hear her.

I was shocked. It was the first time she had said sorry out loud after one of these outbursts.

"It's fine sug." I said quietly rubbing her back.

Her phone rang breaking the comfortable silence the three of us had fallen into.

"Hello." She said quietly.

"Bells, I'll be home late will you be okay?" Charlie asked her.

"Yeah, I'll just do homework; dinner will be in the food warmer when you get in." Isa said sitting up.

"Okay."

She hung up and lay on her back looking up at the darkening sky.

"Twilight." She said quietly. "Perfect time for you guys."

"It's twilight 98% of the time in Forks; it's always the perfect time for us." Emmett said lying next to her.

"And the other two percent?" she questioned.

"We skip class." I said leaning back on my elbows and looking up with them.

She laughed.

We stayed like that for another hour or so before she wanted to go home.

I drove and she laid on the backseat.

When we got to her house I helped her carry all of her stuffed animals up to her room.

"Will you be okay tonight?" I asked as she walked me back to the door.

"Yep; I'll just do the homework and sleep some."

I studied her face intently.

"I promise Jas." She said and I felt her sincerity.

"Call me if anything." I said holding the hand she had on my chest.

"Promise. Go hunt." She said touching under my eyes.

"I'm fine I went last night."

"Go again; do something with Emmett. You need to relax; you're so stressed, for what?"

Honestly I didn't know why I was stressed; just that I was. I relaxed when I was around her.

"I don't know." I said honestly.

"Come see me tonight?" she asked with a sigh.

"Will do."

She sighed and hugged me, placing a kiss on my chin, the only place she could reach without stretching.

"You're awesome Jas."

I kissed her forehead and hugged her back. "You're pretty awesome yourself Iz."

Em honked the horn on my truck for the fifty billionth time and I pulled away from her.

"I have to go before I have to run home." I told her.

"I'll see you later Jas. Sleepover at the cabin tomorrow night."

"Make an excuse; we'll go after school." I said walking down her driveway.

"If I decide to go." She said from the door.

"_Are you part vampire; the sun is gonna be shining tomorrow. I'm not going_."

She giggled quietly. "_I have to make fire from my hands somehow; being best friends with a vampire gave me some enemies. Venom changes you if you get healed with it enough._"

"_I would know. I'll see you later._"

She waved and shut the door as I sped towards the house.

Rosalie came out fussing with Emmett and I slipped away to my room.

I looked around and took a shower, changing into a pair of sleep pants and a long sleeve black T-shirt before I started painting my room.

I painted it black and decided to write quotes all over the walls. I left a wall blank for Isa and dropped lightly on my bed.

Isa was fucking amazing; the complete opposite of me, but we matched so perfectly.

Something changed somewhere over the last six months and I couldn't decide if it was for good or bad.

Isa was eating more but at the same time she stopped talking unless it was around me and we were alone.

I had a feeling in the next few months the old Isabella would be appearing and a lot of people wouldn't like it.

My phone buzzed on the bed next to me. It was a text from Peter…

_**Change of plan; I'm coming tomorrow afternoon. And you're right about you're feeling; you and I however will love them**_.

I rolled my eyes and put the phone down. I had a few hours before I was to go see Isa.

Speaking of her my phone buzzed with a text from her.

_**You better be well fed when you come see me or we'll have problems.**_

_**Like what?**_

_**Did you forget I love fire?**_

_**I'm going hunting tomorrow before I come get you; if I go tonight I'll explode.**_

_**Whatever. **_

I laughed quietly and put my phone down.

* * *

After a few hours I leapt from my window and took off running towards Isa's.

I scaled the tree and slipped into her open window.

"Come help me do this homework." She said when she saw me behind her.

I walked over to her desk and helped her with the math homework we had.

"_Did you finish the English paper?_" I asked her as we lay on her bed.

She nodded and traced her name on my chest. "Before you showed up."

"_Is it as defining as the last one?_"

"No, there's less to this one; it can honestly be put together in two sentences."

This week's English paper was about what you want and one word and what it meant to you. If Isa's paper could be strung together in two sentences and still makes sense it was about one thing.

"Did you do yours?" she asked.

"_I turned mine in today remember? I'm not going to school tomorrow or Monday._"

"Lucky asshole." She grumbled around a yawn.

"_Good night Isa._" I laughed quietly and sent her some lethargy.

I played with her hair as she slept peacefully.

* * *

She woke up about four hours later and curled into a ball, rubbing her face against my chest.

"Good morning Isa." I said against her hair.

"Good morning." She answered sitting up. "I'm gonna go shower; are you dropping me to school?"

I watched her gather her clothes for the day and answered her. "Of course."

**Isabella**

I nodded at Jasper's answer and kissed his cheek as he walked by to run back home.

I walked to the bathroom and showered; washing my forever long hair twice.

I dried my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. For the first time in five and a half years, I finally felt semi happy with my body and it was all because of Jasper.

_Maybe this mate thing isn't so bad._ Jasper was my biggest supporter in getting better and he constantly told me how much he loved my body and how beautiful he thought I was.

His 'birthday' was coming up soon and I wanted to do something special for him, but I couldn't think of anything.

I looked in the mirror and lifted my hair, letting it drop heavily over my shoulders. I bit my lip as I considered it.

_Maybe I'll straighten it today_. I plugged in my straightener and pulled on my clothes.

I chose my favorite pair of black skin tight skinny jeans and a simple dark blue button down shirt.

I quickly straightened my hair and decided against my contacts for the day. I put on my glasses and walked out of the bathroom.

"Morning Bells." Charlie said as he walked past me.

"Morning." I answered back quietly.

Charlie was probably the most shocked when he heard my voice. From the time I turned 15, I stopped talking to everyone. This was the most he ever heard my voice in the past two years and I could tell it made him happy.

Charlie wasn't the best father, especially when he drank, but he did make a conscious effort to be a dad.

_Hopefully he'll stop drinking._ I shook my head and pushed my hair behind my ear. I bent over and pulled on my black combat boots with a bunch of unnecessary buckles.

"Bells, Jasper's out front." Charlie called up the stairs to me.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my phone. I walked down stairs and grabbed a pop tart from the cabinet.

"Dad, I'm gonna be staying with friends tonight." I said quietly grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Alright; will you be home tomorrow?" Charlie asked.

"Definitely; probably in the afternoon." I said.

"Alright; go to school. I'll see you whenever."

I nodded and walked out to Jasper's truck. I climbed in and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Don't you look so pretty?" he drawled sweetly as he pulled off.

"I had to be pretty enough for the both of us; you know, represent for my bestie that's leaving me for two days." I said rolling my eyes as I put my feet up on his dashboard.

"I might be able to show up on Monday, hopefully." He said rubbing my leg.

I hummed as I picked at my pop tart. "What are you gonna do all day?"

"Hunt like I promised and probably fix up the cabin some." He said as he pulled up in front of the school. "I really wish I could stay with you today."

I pouted lightly and pushed my hair from my face, since I knew he loved my eyes, as I looked at him. "Do you think you can sneak into Brit Lit; I really want you to be there." I asked him.

"_Do you now? I'll see what I can do; I think I can._" He signed smoothly.

I nodded and hugged him. "Bring me lunch if you can come." I said in his ear.

I felt him nod against my hair. I pulled back and kissed his cheek.

He kissed my forehead and we both heard the bell rang.

I slid from the car and reached back in for my cell phone. I pulled down my shirt and walked to my locker.

I pulled out my books that I needed for my first two classes and started to walk to chemistry.

Class was boring, even more so without Jasper. I started the walk to Brit Lit, looking at my feet.

Halfway to class I felt Jasper throw his arm over my shoulder. I knew it was him because no one would ever _dare_ touch me. Not after what happened to Michael Watson.

_He couldn't touch anyone for three months_. "_You're the best_." I signed easily to Jasper as he took my books.

"You asked and I missed you; life is so boring without you." He said quietly in my ear. "How did I ever survive six months without you?"

I giggled quietly, hiding my smile behind my hair. We walked into the classroom and I sat on his desk.

I pushed my glasses higher on my nose and pulled my hair over to one side, letting him play with it.

We talked quietly until the bell rang and I slid into my seat behind him.

I twisted my hair and let it fall over the back of my chair as Banner introduced the project.

"Isabella you're up first." He called as I braided my hair over my shoulder.

"Lovely." I said quietly.

Jasper sent me a small wave of amusement and I sent back my irritation at Banner.

I grabbed my paper of my desk and walked to the front of the room.

**Jasper**

Isa stood at the front of the room playing with the end of her braid and Banner got the class to settle down.

"Alright Isabella, what do you want first." Banner said taking her paper from her.

She bit her lip and put a hand on her stomach as she spoke easily.

"I can't make sense of what I want; I want to be happy, but what does happy mean to mean right now? Losing weight is something that I think will make me happy, but at the same time I'm not happy. At the same time I want to recover and not be afraid anymore, but I'm scared to death of losing control of my body and gaining weight."

She tossed her braid over her shoulder and continued.

"I want to be carefree; I want to eat what I want and not legitimately feel the weight building on my body. I want to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I know I'm full. I don't want to binge on food because I know it's there and I don't want to cry every night because I 'failed' when all I've eaten is a salad and a granola bar. I don't want to lose control but I don't want to be out of control."

She licked her lips and looked around the classroom before stopping at me. "I want to feel alive; everything revolves around this disorder. Not a second of the day goes by that I'm not somehow triggered or aware of food or my and other people's relationship with it. I want to be able to live my life without a dysfunctional relationship with food."

She shrugged and shook her head, looking down at her nails. "Eating is normal and completely necessary; I just want to be able to realize that."

I sent her my comfort, understanding and acceptance and she sent me back her awareness and love.

_Have to talk about that one_. "And your one word and what it means to you." Banner asked quietly.

Isa nodded and ran her fingers through her bangs, pushing them from her face as she made eye contact with me.

"My word is recovery. Recovery means being healthy, mentally and physically, _finally_." She stressed. "It means not having Jasper fuss and worry about me every day and it means not fighting it anymore. It means loving myself, unconditionally and wholly, and being able to finally be a ballerina and being able to be a ballerina and eat. It means everything."

She pushed her bangs behind her ear and continued. "Jasper is my best friend and I'm so insanely grateful for him pulling me out of the dark before I fell too deep. I want to be healthy mentally again and I love being healthy physically. I love knowing I can be able to eat and still do what I love. Ballet it what I love and I don't want to lose that again."

She sent me a full wave of love and commitment as well as her happiness. "Recovery means having a beautiful, healthy, loving, _happy_, future and I want that more than I want to be skinny. I want that forever."

"Jasper, would you like to go up next?"

**Isabella**

I sat in my seat as Banner asked Jasper if he wanted to go up.

I heard him sigh. "Sure why not?" he mumble.

I laughed silently and undid my braid, letting my hair fall over my shoulder.

Jasper stood and pulled up his jeans and fixed his sweatshirt. _So fucking sexy._

He ran his hand through his hair as Banner spoke and looked at his paper.

"What do you want Jasper?"

He chewed his lip sexily as he thought. "I don't know what I want honestly." He drawled. "I want to be strong. I want to be brave. I want to be fearless. But I can be neither. We all have something to hide, some dark place in us that we don't want anyone to see. Just because you can't see them, doesn't mean I don't have scars. I think scars are battle wounds; they show what I've been through and how strong I am for coming out of it. I want to be strong enough to stand alone but I also want to be wise enough to stand together when I need to. I want to be strong enough to burn my insecurities."

He slid his hands in his pockets and bit his lip, flashing his pearly whites. "I want to accept what I can't change and change what I can't accept. I want to let go of people who hold me back and hold onto people that let me be. I want to be strong enough to accept that I am my biggest critic and that I am the one who holds me back the most."

He glanced at me. "My scars are my battle wounds, wounds from battling myself." He shrugged easily. "I want to be able to accept that I'm not the only person with scars. People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret maps of their personal history; diagrams of all their old wounds. Most are healed leaving nothing but the scar but some aren't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cuts are gone the pain still lingers."

"One word and what it means to you?" Banner asked.

Jasper shrugged and bit his lip. "Scars. There's something beautiful about them; no matter how they came about. A scar means that the hurt is over and the wound is closed; healed and done with. Scar tissue has no character. It's opposite to skin; it doesn't show age or illness or pallor or tan. It has no pores or hair or wrinkles. It's like a cover, shielding and hiding what's beneath; that's why we have them, we have something to hide. We all carry them; certain someone more than others, but we all have them. To accept your scars it to accept yourself, mistakes and all. Past, present, future. Accepting a scar will be the greatest accomplishment."

He sent me the same mixture I sent him when I finished my presentation and I tossed the ends of my hair over my face, hiding my smile and squealing internally.

_He loved me, like I loved him._ I sent him my happiness and heard him laugh quietly.

**Jasper**

I felt Isa lean forward and whisper in my ear. "You're pretty fucking awesome, did you know that?"

"I didn't but thanks for that. You're pretty awesome yourself." I said quietly.

The rest of the class was spent listening to the other papers. Banner critiqued them on their presentation, harshly.

"Maybe you should just let everyone else go first." Jessica said after Banner complained about her movements. "Save wonder star one and two for last."

Isa laughed quietly and I smirked. "Wonder star." Isa said slowly before laughing and putting her head down.

Banner and Jessica debated for the rest of the class. When the bell rang Isa and I were the first ones out of the classroom.

"_I'm not feeling history at the moment. Can we skip_?" she asked me as we walked to our lockers.

I nodded as we put our books away. I pulled her hair and showed her what I got her for lunch.

She clapped and sent me her happiness as she hugged me. I got her favorite; hot fudge sundae pop tarts, because the girl is insane.

_As long as she was eating._ She opened the box and pulled on out before shutting my locker. We walked out to my truck as the bell rang and listened to the radio while she picked at the food.

"Are you serious?" she asked randomly while sending me a mixture of emotions.

"About?"

She glared at me and sent me her agitation. "Banner."

"Right." I said nodding and sending her the same mixture from earlier with my sincerity.

She nodded slowly as she chewed. "Why?"

"Why do I love you?" I said slowly. "I love you because your my best friend; my therapist, my worst enemy. I love you because you're not perfect; I don't want you to be. I love you because you make me happy; I laugh with you. I love you because you're insecure, but strong. You act so fucking stupid, but you're the smartest girl I've ever met. You think you're so unattractive but, damn Isa, you the most beautiful girl on the planet; I've shared the lust that people feel for you with you, you have to realize that. You think you're so alone and you're honestly the most loved person ever. You smile when your sad even though you know I'll call you on it." I sighed as the words came to a stop.

"I just love you. Point blank space period. I love you and all your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, tears, sarcasm, all of it. I just fucking love you."

She took a sip of the water she had and nodded slowly. She climbed over the center console and straddled me, throwing her arms around my neck. She pulled back and didn't say anything for a while before she leaned forward and kissed me shyly.

As she pulled away I pulled her back and kissed her harder. I knew my lust was slipping out of my control but I couldn't ignore it anymore, I just had to feel her lips against mine for a bit longer. I felt her lust building too and deepened the kiss. The moment I slid my tongue over hers, she moaned and I knew I had to stop. I pulled back slowly and pulled her face back so I could see her.

I held her face in my hands, looking deeply into her grey violet eyes. She looked back and sighed happily.

"I love you too." She said quietly. "Just saying."

* * *

A/N: so this is another chapter pretty quickly. Isa's recovery is moving along as well as her and Jasper's relationship. Feedback is as lovely and Jasper's drawl.


	5. Dancing Shoes

'_Worthless' repeats in her head as she holds herself together_

_Holding onto what's left of her._

_Her thoughts destroy her more than any razors_

_But one thing keeps her together;_

_Pushing limits_

_Blood on toes_

_Sweat on sweaters_

_Tears and accomplishing the impossible_

_**Ballet**__._

* * *

**Isabella**

It's been close to a week since that day in Jasper's truck and we were progressing nicely.

Currently we were in Banner's classroom. Since we just got to school, we were the only ones in the room.

"Move the desks; just make a small circle." I said sitting on his desk, stretching.

He sent me his confusion as he did as I asked. "What are you doing?" He asked when he finished.

I laced up my sneakers, correctly for once, and ignored him. "Sit." I said pointing to his desk.

"Isabella."

"Never miss a chance to dance, Jas." I said pulling my hair into a high ponytail.

I sighed and shook out my limbs. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, relaxing myself before I closed my eyes and thought of a song.

I opened my eyes as I started to dance. I rolled to en pointe and spun slowly. I extended my leg as I spun and relaxed back onto my feet.

I danced easily, gracefully, until the bell rang and Banner walked in.

"Since you want to be center of attention you can go first Isabella." He said as I came out of my spin.

I let my hair down as I shrugged. I ran a hand through my hair and pulled the desk back.

I grabbed my DVD and my paper off Jasper's desk and handed both to Banner.

"What's your topic?" He asked.

"Dance." I said tossing my hair over my shoulder.

"Carry on."

I took a deep breath and started my presentation. "Keep calm and dance on right? The purpose of this paper was to write about the one thing that keeps you calm; my thing is dance. Ballet in particular." I pressed play on the DVD remote and my favorite song came through the speakers. I know a video of me dancing was showing.

"What do I dance for? I dance for the laughter; the tears and madness and fear and hopes and screams. I am a dancer; I create the dreams of little girls. I'm an apparent role model." I talked quickly, excited, before deflating. "But I'm not; no one should want to be like me. No one should want to be anorexic just to dance; to do what you love."

I shook my head as I heard the song start again as a different dance started. "Dance allows you to lose yourself and find yourself at the same time."

I paused and looked at my video. It was shot just before I moved here; my last recital. "A trained dancer must not only have grace and elegance, but also the leap of an Olympic hurdler, the flexibility of a gymnast, the balance of a tight rope walker, and panther like strength and agility."

As I spoke I demonstrated each. "If people think that dancers only dance in the studio or on stage they are highly ignorant. As you can see, dancers dance just about anywhere, whenever the feeling calls."

I looked back at the screen as one of my solo dances started. I pointed to the screen and talked. "Dancing appears glamorous, easy, and delightful. Yet the path to achievement is the same; it may be harder than any other. Fatigue so great that the muscles cry even while sleeping. There are times of complete frustrations. There are many small deaths."

I looked back as the video showed my old studio. "The studio is one of the few places where you can take risks every day. Pull your hardest trick; try your hardest jump. People tend to look at dancers like we are these fragile jewels; gracefully moving from place to place with no strain. Yet we have blood sweat and tears and we go through hell."

I smiled and bit my lip and I finished up. "But it's all worth it. I touch and move and inspire people; young and old, male and female. That is the true gift of dance. I dance for the one moment; that one moment where my entire being is encompassed with joy and I am able to feel the true meaning of a moment in life."

The class clapped and Jessica raised her hand.

"Question Jessica." Banner said.

She nodded and opened her mouth. I mentally prepared myself for the stupidity that I was about to be exposed to.

"There's a quote in your video that said dance is hell of the feet but heaven on the heart. What does that mean?"

I shared my irritation with Jasper and saw him lean forward and cover his smirk with his hands.

"I'm a ballerina, I'm sure I've said it before, but ballet is hell of your feet. It's the only dance that's concentrated on your feet, really, and your feet are the most beautiful part of your body. When your pointe shoes or flat shoes are on. The second they come off you have blisters, you're bleeding." I shook my head. "You're feet are pretty in shoes, once they come out they aren't so pretty."

"What do you mean?"

I held a hand to my forehead and shook my head slowly. I tossed my hair over my shoulder as I walked over to Jasper and looked through my gym bag. I found my pointe shoes and walked back to the front of the room, ignoring Jasper's snickers.

"Pointe shoes." I said holding up a shoe as I sat on Banner's desk. I changed shoes and stood up, rolling to on pointe.

I did a couple spins and jumps in front of the room, even though I didn't really need to.

I sat on Banner's desk again and held my foot up, my toes pointed straight. "Your feet give your dance elegance and grace if you're a ballerina." I took of the shoes and showed my feet.

"I have such hideous feet from years and years of ballet. There's cut and bruises and scars and they're just all around ugly things." I put on my sneakers and hopped down. "Ballet is hell on your feet but heaven on your heart."

She nodded and thanked me.

Lauren held her hand up. _What the fuck; this is the most question ever created._

"Yes Lauren?"

"Two questions actually; you said you're anorexic, why? And what song it playing for most of your video?"

"Second one is easiest to answer so we'll start there; its Mariana's Trench, Skin & Bones, and my favorite song." I said running a hand through my hair.

"And my first question."

"I am anorexic yes." I nodded. "I have been since I was eleven. I've been doing ballet since I was six. The older I got the thicker, I guess, I got. It bothered me I was always the smallest girl and I was slowly becoming bigger. So I started restricting and that turned into not eating a couple meals with just a light snack in between, until I stopped eating all together." I shrugged and ran my finger across my lips, before I was hit with a ton of lust and a warning from Jasper as I heard his quiet growl.

I dropped my hand and sent back an apology and my love. "But I'm getting better; it's hard but it's happening." I said fluffing my hair.

The bell rang and I walked over to Jasper. I tossed my shoes back in my gym bag and laced Jasper's finger with mine.

The walk to history was uneventful, as was the class. Lunch was boring; I didn't eat and I played with Jasper's zippo. AP Calculus was boring; I took a nap and let Jasper play with my waves.

"Are we going to gym?" he asked when the bell rang.

I pushed glasses onto the top of my head and rubbed my eyes. "Sure why not?" I said on a yawn.

"Are we participating?"

"Carry me; yeah we can participate."

He lifted me into his arms and I cuddled into his chest as he walked to the gym.

I hummed to my favorite song as he walked. He set me down outside of the girl's locker room and handed me my bag.

"I'll meet you out front." I said rubbing my face.

"Yeah." He said cradling my face in his cool hands. "Sleep over at the cabin again?" he asked quietly.

I nodded and leaned up to kiss his chin. "I'll make an excuse; take me after school?"

He nodded and kissed my forehead.

I walked into the locker room and into one of the few bathroom stalls. I changed my leggings for my gym shorts and my t-shirt for my long sleeved gym shirt.

I changed my Jordan's for my running shoes and brushed my hair. I walked out of the stall and put my bag in my locker before walking out to meet Jasper.

He was standing by the bleachers talking to Emmett. I held a finger to my lips to tell Em to be quiet and jumped on Jasper's back.

He caught me easily and finished talking to Emmett.

I buried my face in his shoulder as he spoke. "You smell nice." I said almost silently into his ear.

He sent me his amusement and his agreement.

"Ladies on the right. Gentlemen to the track." Coach Clapp shouted as he walked from his office. "Coach Webber will be dealing with you ladies."

I scowled against Jasper's neck and he rubbed my leg. I squeezed them minutely and he let me go, letting me slide down his back.

He tossed and arm around my shoulder as I stood next to him.

"Swan, why are you still here?"

"I'm not going with the girls."

**Jasper**

I rolled my eyes as Isa talked to Clapp. I made her life easier by sending him acceptance.

"Fine; let's move out." He sighed and turned on his heel.

We all followed him out to the track and waited for him to tell us what to do.

"Run for the next thirty minutes." He said and blew his whistles.

I took off jogging at a human pace and Isa kept up nicely.

"Move faster." She said starting to run.

I kept up with her easily and soon the thirty minutes were over.

"Do what you please." Clapp called.

Isa rolled her eyes but started running again. I sat on the grass with Emmett and watched her.

"Why is she still running?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure." I answered him.

Isa came to a stop and walked over to us. She lay on her back and fanned her hair out around her head.

"It's hot." She whined pulling her sleeves up to her elbows.

"We don't have that problem." I smirked lying next to her and pulling my shirt up.

She slapped my stomach and poked her tongue out at me.

I leaned over and kissed her lightly. I pulled back and she sighed, laying her head on my stomach.

"Perks of being a vampire." She said against my skin. "Cool body temp."

I rolled my eyes and played with her hair until Clapp called for us to get changed.

I changed quickly and met up with Isa outside of the girls' locker room. She walked out with a scowl on her face and pouted as she came to a stop in front of me.

"_I want to go home._" She signed easily, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"_Home or cabin?_" I asked.

"_Home_." She said with a scowl.

I rolled my eyes but followed her out to my bike.

I sped over to her house and followed her up to her room.

"You wanna share with the class what has you so pissed off?" I drawled out lying on her bed and tossing her stress ball back and forth.

"Am I fat?" she asked after a few minutes, whirling to face me.

I dropped the ball and rolled my eyes sending her my sarcasm as I spoke. "Yeah Isa let me tell you."

I dodged the book she threw at me and caught it before it hit the wall, listening to her screech her distaste.

"Jas this is serious; I feel like shit." She finished with a pout.

"Come here sug." I said sliding to the edge of her bed and opening my arms to her.

She danced over to me easily and curled into a ball on my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and played in her hair.

"Where is this coming from?" I asked generally curious. She was doing so well.

"I wanna start ballet again but I have to start dieting."

I opened my mouth to argue and she talked over me.

"Diet Jasper not starve relax. But I feel…" she trailed looking for a word. ".. Fluffy. Like I should be smaller."

"Isa you're perfect."

"You're programmed to say that."

"I'm also programmed to kill you. Easily at that." I retorted nipping at the pulse point in her neck. "I have yet to do that."

She rolled her eyes. "Jas this is serious. Do I need to diet; no. Should I; probably not. Am I going to; possibly maybe."

"Is ballet gonna be a problem Isa?"

"Probably." She shrugged. "But I wanna do it. I haven't done it in a while."

"Isabella."

"What Jasper; food is always gonna be a problem and I'm probably always gonna forget to eat at some point just like I do now. You'll be around so I'll be fine."

"And when I'm not?"

"When are you never not; you're around even when you shouldn't be.

"Isabella."

"Jasper."

"Bells, Jasper? You guys up there?" Charlie called up the stairs.

"How did you miss that?" she asked sliding off of my lap and pulling her hair over her shoulder.

"You're very distracting." I said following her down the stairs. "And you tend to take all my focus."

She laughed quietly and called me an asshole under her breath as we walked into the kitchen.

"Hi daddy." She said dancing over to him and kissing his cheek before hopping on the counter.

"Sir." I nodded leaning next to her.

"School called Bells." He said standing in front of us.

"Yeah sorry. I got sick of it."

"Have you, will you, or are you ever going to seventh hour?" Charlie asked.

"If it wasn't so boring maybe." Isa said quietly, running her fingers through my hair.

"It's a class you need to graduate."

"I don't graduate until next year. I'm only a junior."

"You need the class to become a senior."

"I don't need to learn Italian all over again."

"What's the class?"

Isa sighed heavily and pouted. I sent her my amusement and she yanked at my hair.

"AP Italian Language and Culture."

Charlie sighed. "Why do I get the feeling you're in the class with her?"

"I am."

"No questions." He sighed again shaking his head. "Just go to the class at least once."

"No promises." Isa said quietly before agreeing for Charlie's sake.

She cooked his dinner before we left and headed to my house.

We went straight up to my room and spent the rest of the night reading quietly or watching TV.

_**A FEW WEEKS LATER…**_

**Isabella**

"Isabella you're up." Banner called making me lift my head.

We were in Banner's class and I was sitting in Jasper's seat and he was sitting behind me playing with my hair.

Jasper went already and I was the last person to go in the class.

I sighed and sat up flipping my hair from my face with my arm. I stood and handed him my paper as I stood in front of the class. The topic this week was short stories of your past demons.

"Carry on." Banner said once he was ready.

I cleared my throat and put my hands in my back pockets as I started.

"It all starts again. All the hiding, all the sadness, the emptiness. All the hurt; the pain, the crying, the cutting. All the guiltiness, the hate, the self-destruction, and all the thoughts that accompany it. All the numbers, the wills to die; the desperate need to escape. And all the failing."

My hands twisted in my hair behind my back as I continued, feeling exposed and vulnerable. This is the first paper Jasper and I didn't talk about nor did he read it beforehand. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"We carry these things inside; praying that no one else can see. We carry them and they hold us down like anchors; they drown us at sea. The girl went to the ocean and danced on the edge. She gasped as she watched her shoe fall from the fifteen foot cliff. Her eyes wide with her horror as she watched; the slipper didn't disappear into the ocean but instead into the hands of an innocent sea man.

"He glanced up and spotted her, his face shifting from a confused look to a sincere smile as far as she could tell. He made his way up the rough terrain. 'Hey!' he shouted to the girl at the edge of the cliff. She apologized repeatedly as he helped replace the fallen shoe. 'It's a gentleman's duty to return a woman's shoes.' He said with a small smile. The girl thanked him with a soft blush. As he straightened his small smile became a sinister sneer. She started to question him when he placed two large hands on her tiny frail shoulders and pushed back.

"Down she fell with a scream stuck in her throat. Somewhere along the lines she thought. She went to the ocean to jump in the waves, praying the darkness would take her away. The last thing she saw before she hit the waves was the man's face as he waved her goodbye. She gasped for the air that wasn't there and let the sea consume her."

I bit my lip and visibly played with my hair as I looked down at my worn boots.

"She couldn't drown her demons; for they knew how to swim better than she. She lay awake at night; wondering if her happy ending would ever come. Wondering if she would ever be perfect. She looks in the mirror and her reflection disgusts her. The fat covering her bones, the scars and bruises distracting her from her pretty, dangling, red belly ring charm.

"She realize the sooner you stop trying to please everyone, the sooner you begin to make yourself happy. She stopped trying, she's still not happy. Will you remember her today if she died tomorrow? Will you cry at her funeral; will you say it didn't have to be that way? Will you act like everyone else; the way they expect you too? Will you miss her?"

I tossed my hair over my shoulders and ran a hand through it holding it out of my face as I looked up.

"She wrote her note that night. The one that read: 'Dear mother, you were never there. Dear father, I question if you really care. Dear best friend, you were always distant until I realized. Dear crush; you will never understand how much I cried that day. Dear teachers, the support system I never wanted. Dear friends, you're faker than my sanity. Dear planet, there is seven billion other people, I will not be missed. Dear reader, you'll never know if I exist.' That night when everyone went to sleep, she sat in the tub, filled with water and cut."

I lifted my sleeve and fingered the letters that were marked on my skin.

"P. E. R. F. E. C. T. carved perfectly into her pretty porcelain skin. She carved and bled. The more she bled the deeper she sank. Under the warm water until she was completely submerged.

"They found her, eventually, put her through treatments. She faked it well; they believed she was fine. She wasn't. Not at all. Not until she met him."

I bit my lip and looked at Jasper.

"She met him. With the pretty blue eyes and the soft blonde hair. The pretty smile and the smoothest southern drawl. He became her best friend; he helped her more than all the treatments and now she's better.

"This is the end of her tale." I said smoothly chewing the inside of my lip and the class clapped.

Banner looked at me closely. "Thank you."

I nodded and walked back to my seat. Jasper reached forward and pushed my sleeve up my arm.

He traced the scar I talked about and lifted my arm to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss to the scar and whispered quietly against it.

"I still think you're beautiful and I don't ever want to lose my best friend."

The bell rang and I sent him my love and felt his in return.

The rest of the day was boring as it usually was. We finally made it to seventh hour and we were now sitting on his bed.

"Jasper." Alice's tinkling voice called before she barged into the room.

"Knock much." I said quietly, lifting my head from Jasper's lap and sitting up.

Alice glared at me as I snuggled into Jasper's side.

"Problem?" I questioned with a smirk.

"Jasper, all the guys are going out for a hunt; do you want to go?"

"I went this morning. I'm good."

"You should really go."

**Jasper**

I felt Alice's deception and her guilt as she pressed the matter of my hunting.

"Problem Alice?" I asked sending her a small dose of fear.

Isa slid to sit behind me when she felt the side effects. I heard her snapping her fingers and knew she was playing with her fire since Alice couldn't see her.

"N-no." Alice stuttered. "I just think you should hunt to be safe. I mean your mate is a human."

"I'm fine. I'm sure." I said easily. "You may leave now." I said waving a hand towards my door.

She sped out and shut the door behind her. I faintly told her telling the rest of the family to go ahead without me.

"Do you think she would miss any of her clothes?" Isa asked as I turned to face her.

"You mean her latest season of summer clothes." I said with a smirk. "I think she'd walk in the fire with them."

"Which way to her room again?"

I laughed softly and pulled her to sit on my lap.

She giggled sweetly as I tickled her.

"Giggling lil bit? That's new."

"Peter."

I let her go and she dove for Peter who was standing in the doorway.

He caught her easily and took a step back so she wouldn't get hurt. "Hey there lil bit. Major." He nodded in my direction.

"Peter."

Isa pulled away from him and spun back over to the bed. She sent me her hunger and I reached over and handed her a granola bar.

She picked at it as she listened to Peter and I talk.

She hit my leg and pointed to my iPad. I handed it to her without a second glance.

"_**Just about the time the shadows call. I undress my mind and dare you to follow. Paint a portrait of my mystery; only close my eyes and you are here with me.**_"

Isa sang easily as she did whatever she was doing.

"Notebook please." She asked sweetly.

I nodded to the notebook that was behind Peter and he slid it her. She wrote something down before chewing her lip and tapping the pen on the paper.

"I wanna get drunk." Isa said randomly after a few.

"Let's do it." I shrugged.

"Seriously?" she asked looking at me.

"Yeah."

"Awesome."

"Vodka?" Peter asked.

"Shots." Isa said with false enthusiasm. "Give me the bottle."

She took the bottle and sat up. She opened it and handed it to me.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked her as she put her hair up.

"Get drunk." She said taking the bottle back.

She tipped her head back and put the bottle to her lips. She finished half the bottle before taking a breath.

"Alright. That's not happening again." I said taking the bottle from her.

She pouted. "Why not?"

"Isa you're what 3 pounds soaking wet." Peter said. "That's a big ass bottle of vodka."

"I'm 110 soaking wet and 102 completely dry so fuck you. Anyhow why not?"

"Exactly you're 110 soaking wet. If you drink the whole bottle straight that is a one way ticket to alcohol poisoning." I said. "No more."

"You're no fun." She said snapping her fingers and waving a flame towards Peter. "Can I burn something?"

"Like what?"

"Jasper." Charlotte called running over to me and tackling me off the bed.

She pressed kisses all over my face as I struggled to get her off of me.

I heard Isa growl lightly. "Flame on."

"Shit, Charlotte if you value your life you'd get off her mate." Peter said.

"Mate?" Char said freezing.

"Yes mate." I said pushing her off of my and flashing over to Isa. "Breathe Isa."

I sent her some calm and my love for her.

"Flame off." She grumbled and waved her hand between us.

When she was done I grabbed her hands in mine.

"You cool now?" Peter asked.

She rolled her eyes and threw a small spark in his direction. "Sorry excess heat. I'm all good now."

"Stupid crazy psycho bitch." Charlotte mumbled under her breath.

"Repeat that." Isa said.

"Please don't." Peter and I said together.

I pulled Isa onto my lap and held her tightly.

She traced the scars on my forearm quietly as she relaxed.

I listened quietly as she and Peter talked. I didn't question half the shit they talked about or half the shit he did as they talked; Isa was happy and as long as she stayed that way so was I.

"Isa, did you finish the paper for AP Composition?" I asked her after she was quiet.

"I did actually and no you can't read it." She said looking back at me and sending me her amusement.

I laughed silently. "Can I know the songs you chose?"

"No." She laughed easily.

I sighed and shook my head at her. "Hurtful."

"You'll get over it." She said patting my hand and kissing my cheek.

She turned back to Peter and they started another random conversation.

As they talked I studied her. She was beautiful; her dark hair was slowly fading from black to a pretty auburn color and it's contrasted nicely with her pale skin. When she laughed her face lit up and her grey violet eyes sparkled with her happiness. The harder Peter made her laugh the redder her face became; the blush enveloping her skin making it a nice red shade.

"Breathe lil bit. Before Major kills me." Peter told her, breaking my concentration.

Isa took a breath and let it out slowly. "Killing you would kill me which I doubt he'd want to do." She said smoothly. "Right Major?" she purred.

"Depends." I laughed.

"Yeah right." She said rolling her eyes and turning back to Peter. "You'll be fine."

She and Peter finished their earlier conversation as I played with her hair. I heard light footsteps on the stairs.

"Rosalie is coming up the stairs." I said easily differentiating the females in the house.

"Wonderful." Isa grumbled rolling her eyes and flipping a strand of hair over her shoulder.

"Do you like anyone in life?" I asked her playfully.

"Well I haven't killed you, or Peter. And I haven't threatened to kill Emmett since the first day." She said thoughtfully. "That has to count."

"You're not supposed to want to kill me. Peter is surprising and true however it's become a habit for you to remind him that you flame." I said. "Come in Rosalie."

"It was by accident he found out in the first place. If you didn't get distracted he would've never found out."

I didn't acknowledge her statement and turned to Rosalie. "How can I help you?"

"Family game night. Are you participating?" she asked.

"When have I ever?" I retorted.

"I'd assume you'd gotten over that." She said looking closely at Isa, who was still wrapped in my arms and sitting on my lap.

"They never told you about assumptions, did they?" Isa asked her.

"No one was talking to you." Rose barked.

I growled lowly in my chest as Isa responded. "No need to be icy Frosty. I was just wondering."

"Jasper?" Rosalie asked ignoring Isa.

"I asked a fucking question." Isa said snapping her fingers.

I looked to make sure she wasn't flaming and looked back to Rosalie with a raised brow.

"And I gave a response." Rosalie answered through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry I don't speak dog." Isa said making Peter laugh.

"Well let me translate it for you. You're a bitch and no one likes you."

"I asked for an answer not a self-introduction."

Rosalie growled at her and I snarled in return.

"Look here Isabella, in case you don't remember I can kill you where you sit. Jasper or not."

"See I knew we'd have to go over this again." Isa sighed rubbing my arms. "I thought I told you, next time you threaten me to remember I wanted to die. Just because I sit here smiling and laughing doesn't change anything."

I whimpered inaudibly at her sentence and she squeezed my hand.

"Maybe I can make that come true for you."

Isa moved faster than I'd ever seen her move before and stood in front of Rosalie. "Try it. We'll see how fast you burn. Clock anyone?"

Rosalie growled and took a step closer to Isa.

"Game fucking on." Rosalie snarled.

Isa snapped her fingers and shot a spark towards Rosalie's hair. "Oops. It slipped I swear." She said in false apology. "Emmett. Your wife's on fire." She added sweetly before walking from the room.

I followed her at vampire speed and caught up with her by the stairs. "Explain."

"Explain what? I told you it would be a problem next time she talked to me any which way." Isa said flipping her hair.

"Rosalie is flaming upstairs Emmett." I said standing in front of Isa who sat next to him on the sofa and took a controller.

She took over playing the game as Emmett flew up the stairs.

"Isabella." I said when she ignored me.

"Jasper."

"Isa flame off. Please." Peter called from my study.

She sighed but paused the game and snapped her fingers. Her finger sparked slightly before a flame appeared which she blew out.

"My hair." Rosalie screeched flying down the stairs.

I caught her by her throat as she lunged for Isa and slammed her to the floor. "Enough." I roared.

Isa sighed and bent next to Rosalie's head. She touched her own hair before touching Rosalie's.

Her hair glowed partially and Rosalie's charred ends brightened and her hair returned to its original length.

Isa dropped the hair and went back to playing the game. "Anything else?" she said coolly as though she didn't just renew Rosalie's hair.

I tightened my hand on Rosalie's throat.

"T-thank you." She gasped out clawing at my hands.

"Jas let her go." Isa said never looking away from the screen.

I growled but listened and moved to sit next to her. She took off her shoes and laid her head in my lap, her legs hanging over the back of the chair.

Emmett walked past Rosalie and sat on the other side of her, picking up his discarded controller and joining her.

The rest of the weekend was spent doing the same thing. Isa and Emmett played the game only stopping for Isa's human needs and for the few hours she slept.

* * *

Currently, Isa was standing in the kitchen arguing with Emmett and Peter eating breakfast before school.

"I just don't understand why you would think Batman is better than Nemo. You have to be the most retarded children on the planet." Isa said chewing a carrot.

"We're older than you." Em and Peter whined together.

"Somehow I doubt that." Isa said taking a sip of water. "However if you're so much older than me you would know only old people watch, stay awake, and enjoy Batman. Ask Jasper."

I glared at her and sent her my distaste for the comment. "Finish eating so I can drop you to school."

She sent me her love as she put her plate in the sink. "Not going?" she asked.

"It's bright out." I said stating the obvious as I led her outside.

"Then let me drive myself." She said taking the keys from my pocket. "I'll be okay in life."

**Isabella**

I somehow doubted Jas would let me drive his truck to school.

I was proven correct when he shook his head adamantly.

"Come on Jas why not; you let me drive it before." I whined with a pout.

"I was in the car with you before."

"Jas." I whined. "Please."

"No speeding." He sighed helping me in the car. "Call me if anything and be careful. No flaming."

"No promises." I said hugging him tightly. "Thank you."

"Whatever. Go to school." He grumbled shutting the door.

I leaned out the open window and kissed him lightly. "I'll see you later." I said before speeding down the winding driveway.

I faintly heard him shouting my name as I drove off. I laughed and turned up the radio.

I sang along as I drove to the school. Halfway there I slowed down, turned down the radio, rolled up the window and schooled my face.

Never happier for the tinted windows, I parked the car and brushed my hair as I waited for the bell to ring.

I touched up my minimal makeup and texted Jasper before hopping out of the car. I walked straight to my locker when the bell rang and went to class.

Chemistry was boring and Varner pissed me off to the point of no return. _If I turned in my thesis paper early why would I still have it?_

When the bell rang I was the first out the door and bypassed Mike and Eric on my way to my locker.

I switched books and made it to Banner's quickly. I sat in Jasper's seat again and put my head down.

I slept through most of the class until he called my name.

"Isabella. Wordsworth and Coleridge's sense of the emancipatory opportunities brought in by the new historical moment was expressed in their Lyrical Ballads (1798), which revolutionized what?"

I rolled my eyes and used my arm to move my hair from my face and answered him as I put my head back down.

"The theory and practice of poetry. Wordsworth influentially located the source of the poem not in outer nature but in the psychology and emotions of the individual poet. In keeping with the view that it emphasizes the writer's feeling the lyrics became a major Romantic form. It was held that the immediate act of composition must be on impulse. Free of rules and spontaneous. Or some shit like that." I waved my hand.

I lifted my head to look at him. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

He glared at me and waved a hand. I put my head back down and finished my nap. The bell rang and I shot from my seat and went straight to history.

I slept there too and was left alone for majority of the day. Study hall was nap time and I didn't feel like eating lunch.

_**Eat lunch.**_

The text from Jasper made me roll my eyes. When the bell rang I went to the cafeteria after going to my locker and bought a granola bar and lemonade.

I sat at the usual table and sent Jasper a picture of my food. I picked at the bar and people-watched. When I got bored I started the homework I was assigned.

"Hey hot stuff."

I looked up with a small smile as Angela sat at the table with me.

"Sexy shit. How goes it?" I said reaching across the table and hugging her.

Ang was possibly the only girl in Forks I could manage with. She's a cool girl. Black hair green eyes covered by glasses. Pretty fucking rock star, if you ask me.

"Fine, fine. Where is Mr. Hot stuff?" she asked, pigging out on her fries.

I made a face at her and rolled my eyes. "Camping. The asshole is gone for three days."

"Survival of the fittest my dear." She laughed and held up her bottle of soda.

I tapped my bottle with hers and laughed. "Peter showed up finally." I said. "He went with them."

"I like Peter." She said.

They talked on the phone the last time me and Ang hung out.

"Yeah?" I laughed softly as the bell rang. "Come on girly-o. Let's go perform."

She laughed and we walked to AP Comp. easily. We sat in the back of the classroom. I sat in Jasper's seat and she was in her usual seat.

"Swan why are you in Whitlock's seat?" Connor asked.

I shrugged and she waved a hand letting me stay.

"First on the chopping block…" she trailed as she looked around the class. "…Angela."

I laughed behind my hair and clapped with the rest of the class as Ang walked to the front of the room.

Her paper was awesome and she picked on Jessica to go next. One by one everyone went up. The last one up was Lauren.

"I pick Isabella."

"No fuck there's no one else to choose." I said as I stood up.

The class clapped and I sat on the stool in the front of the room. Conner put my CD in as I started.

"So my first question before I start is who are you?"

I crossed legs and tossed my hair behind my back. "Really. You're not a name or a height or a weight. You're not a male or a female and you're not Forks. You're you favorite things; the books the music the people."

I looked at Ang and laughed. The room was filled with gasps as the saw me smile and heard me laugh for the very first time all year.

Ang laughed until she cried as I continued.

"You're your thoughts and what you ate for breakfast on Saturday. You're a million things and everyone chooses the see the things you aren't. You're not Forks, you're where you're headed after graduation and I'd like to go too."

I started the first song and nodded my head to the music.

"Sorry ahead of time Connor." I said to her before I started.

"Carry on." She said waving a hand.

"The name of this song is Skin & Bones, by Mariana's Trench." I said uncrossing my legs.

I tossed my hair again as I started to deconstruct the song.

"_I lock the door and turn all the water on, and bury that sound so no one hears anything anymore."_ I said looking at my fingers. "You know in the movies how they always have one girl who throws up so pretty? And then a couple months later she's perfectly happily, perfectly skinny?"

I shook my head. "That is nowhere to be found in the real world. Purging is nasty and gross but it's so worth it. To be skinny. The highest point of nirvana."

I started the next few lines pushing on my stomach. "_Mirror lie to me, tell you can see, maybe you won't be able to recognize me now_."

I pushed harder almost feeling my small lunch moving around. "The mirror sees the fat covering your body, so completely disgusting and ugly. You feel the skin stretched taut over the bones; ribs hips spine collarbone. You feel it but you can't see it. You look in the mirror and you can't see what you feel. You feel the skinny but you see the fat."

I heard the door open as I talked and saw Jasper hand Connor his pass before sitting in his seat.

"_I know you can feel all the things you steal and you're taking, you're taking it. Feeling so easy make me skin and bones. I'm always on my knees for you_." I pushed hair behind my ear and looked up. "You feel yourself fading, slowly becoming nonexistent. It's so easy to forget why you started.

"It might look easy but holy fuck I'm so serious it's the hardest thing you can ever do. You eat so much and then you wait. You wait until you feel like shit and you go in the bathroom and turn on all the water, you turn on the loudest music you own and blast it. You kneel before the porcelain God and you pray. Because that's what it turns into. Purging becomes your religion. You're on your knees all the time; getting rid of everything you consumed not even five minutes before."

I shook my head and closed my eyes. "_You break like it's even when you're leaving it. Thin, where the hell have you been_?

"It's not fair. Your body doesn't even have the time to think about breaking down the food before you start purging; no time to comprehend that you just ate any and everything in sight. Yet the more you purge; the more you starve yourself, the less results you get. No change. Except maybe to get fatter and fatter each and every time. You ask the same question always. Why am I not skinny?"

I felt the tears start and I felt Jasper try to calm me. I shook my head and felt him stop.

"Jay chill, she's fine." I heard Ang tell him.

"_Well sometimes it burns, baby I'll wash it out. It all looks so big; never mind I don't feel anything._

"Stomach acid isn't good; it tastes like shit and it burns like a bitch. Especially when you purge so hard it comes out your nose. Your clothes slowly stop fitting and you start to feel good but it fades. You stop feeling anything. Everything.

"_It only hurt a bit; I still feel like shit. And I think you won't be able to recognize me now. It's easier to quit it's harder to admit and you're pushing me. You're fucking pushing me._

"Just like anything else, the more you purge the easier it gets but at the end of the day nothing changes. You feel the same; shitty just like the day you started. I call bullshit; it's not easy to quit. It's easy to say you're going to quit or to fake it and say you did quit. It's so hard to admit something is wrong, so fucking hard."

I wiped my face and flipped my hair. "_Laughing like it works, bleeding like it don't hurt. Knock you off your feet even if you need me. Tear you apart and I hate how I need you._"

I laughed, correction, I scoffed. "Laughing? Fucking hysterical. There's nothing worth laughing about. You lose your teeth. You hair starts to fall out. You're cold all the fucking time. Thank fucking god I never purged. Never binged either. It literally ruins your life and you can't stop it. Because by the time you realize it's ruining you, it's too late and you _need _it."

I shrugged and fanned my face. I was done analyzing this song. It was my favorite song but it brought back so many things I wanted to forget. I wasn't completely recovered but I'd like to think I was past a lot of shit. I can eat and be okay with it now.

Ang looked at me before she stood up and ran over to hug me. I sobbed out a laugh and hugged her tightly.

I heard the laugh she sobbed out in return. "You're my best friend hot stuff." She said in my ear.

I laughed. "You're the best person on the planet sexy shit. Stay up here with me?" I asked as we pulled apart.

She held my hand. "Promise."

I took a breath and wiped my face. I felt Jasper send me his love and I sighed happily returning the warm feelings.

"This song is She's So Gone, by Naomi Scott." I sighed as I ran my free hand through my hair.

Ang said the first few lines. "_Insecure in her skin like a puppet a girl on a string. Broke away learned to fly if you want her back, gotta let her shine. So it looks like the joke's on you cause the girl that you thought you knew. She's so gone. That's so over now_"

I squeezed her hand as I explained. "I can't do this sitting down." I said after a while.

I stood up and let go of Ang's hand to pull up my pants. "I'm a size 0. Eight months ago, if you asked I would've told you I was a size 10 in little kids." I said patting my legs. They were my favorite part of my body.

"I always knew I wasn't fat but dancing with other ballerinas who have A cups and you have D cups, is a major trigger. But I'm over it now. I'm a 0 and I still fit my leo from three years ago.

"_She's so gone you won't find her around. The girl I used to be cause she's, she's so gone. Here I am; this is me and I'm stronger than you'd ever thought I'd be are you shocked; are you mad that you're missing out on who I really am."_

I laughed and tossed my hair. "This girl right here, standing next to me is probably one of my best friends. She knows everything there is to know and I fucking love her. Angela loves to eat. Food is a problem for me. Today I think I saw her eat enough for me her and the football team and surprising I sat across from her and we had a conversation. I didn't freak about calories, contact digestion. None of it. I never thought I'd see the day I could do that but today is the day."

Ang hugged me again and laughed. "_She's so gone away like history, she's so gone._

"This girly is my best friend. All 4'11" and 102 pounds of her. I was her first friend in Forks and I knew about her problems with food when she freaked out about my Philly cheesesteak and cheese fries. Now I'm pretty sure I can eat all day when we're together and she can sit and laugh and joke about everything without freaking. I love her."

"Aw girly-o I love you too." I said hugging her.

"That was amazing girls." Connor said. "Can the two of you stay after for a few?"

We nodded and made our way back to our seats. I slid onto Jasper's lap and let him drown me with his love and pride and a bunch of other fuzziness.

He hugged me to his chest tightly and I let him. I knew he was proud of me and I knew why.

I never really talked about my anorexia before. It was only topic of discussion long enough for someone to find out and that was the end of it. This paper was the most honest paper I wrote and that's why it had so many swears in it.

"I love you Isa, and I'm so fucking proud of you. I've never been happier to call you my mate." He said in my ear, only loud enough for me to hear.

"I love you too Jas." I whispered against his arm.

The bell rang and the three of us hung back. Connor walked over to us and sat on one of the desks in front of us.

"I'm not even questioning that seating arrangement." She said looking at Jasper and I and waving a hand. "I asked you girls to stay behind because the next paper is about your best friend. Who it is, why it is and how it came about. You guys practically did half of it today but I want you to work together. Make it a collaborative effort."

"But Jasper is part of the circle." Ang said.

"More of a line but no one is questioning it." Jasper said against my hair.

I laughed and tapped his arm. "More like a triangle." I replied.

"Shapes aren't important right now." Ang said with a smirk. "Unless you want to do a paper on the two of us without us." She said looking at Jasper.

He cleared his throat and lifted his face from my hair. "I can do it. Or did you forget I'm always at Isa's." he drawled prettily.

I bit my lip to hold back my laughter. "We'll do it together." I breathed out to Connor while Ang and Jas argued.

She mouthed her thanks to me and asked what classes we had.

"We all have the same class. AP Italian Language and Culture." Ang answered.

Jasper sighed into my hair. "You smell like fries."

"Ang had a binge going. She was craving." I told him.

"Bitch I ate what I wanted to eat." She said as we walked to class and the bell rang.

"I just answered a question." I said holding up my hands.

We walked into the class and saw people sitting at our table.

I walked over and flipped my hair. "Hi there boys." I said making sure my voice was light and airy, smoothly dripping over the words I purred out.

I also made sure to send Jasper a constant flow of my love as not to upset him.

"I-Isabella." They all stuttered.

I pushed my hair from my face and looked at them, letting them see my eyes. "Can I ask why you're at our table?"

"W-we t-thought you weren't h-here." One boy whose name I failed to remember stumbled.

"Now why would you think that; you saw me at lunch." I purred my constant flow of love increasing as I bent over. "But I think it'd do you better to sit at your table."

"Y-yes ma'am." They murmured out, standing slowly and walking to their table.

I flipped my hair and sat in between Ang and Jas.

"I should be upset." The latter growled in my ear and the teacher started class. "But I'm not."

"_The perks of being your mate._" I signed for the first time in a while. "_You should be so happy._"

* * *

A/N: an update. More about Isa from Isa herself. I know Ang was a random show up but it's been six months between now and the last few chapters… feedback is a must and much appreciated….


	6. Disasterology

_She tried._

_She swears she did._

_But it didn't work._

_Well it did while it lasted._

_Then it happened._

_The voices came back._

_They haunted her with every bite._

_**Relapse.**_

* * *

**Isabella**

_I can't do this._ I sat on the bathroom floor staring at the toilet. My aforementioned God.

Six months. I was 'fine' for six months. Then Jasper left. Problems for king vamps needed his overview. I got it; I swear I did.

School is hell. Ang is my best friend and she's been with me through all of it. She knew _everything._ Turns out she's Peter's mate.

"Isa don't do this please."

My hands covered my mouth the smother the sobs that worked its way up my throat at her pleas.

"Isa please." She begged, her tears making mine run faster. "You're so fucking perfect."

I sobbed openly. I was the farthest thing from perfect. I moved my hand to put my hair up when a glint caught my eye.

_Bes…_

The half broken heart that hung from the charm bracelet on my wrist made me freeze. It was half of the bracelet that was on Ang's wrist.

…_Tie_

She held the other half of my broken heart and here I was, slowly shattering everything.

I tied my hair quickly and crawled over to the toilet.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed out. "So fucking sorry."

"Isa please."

Her pleas fell on deaf ears as the sound of my purging cleared everything.

My stomach.

My mind.

Her pleas.

Her tears.

"Isa."

I flushed the toilet and stood in front of the mirror. _My first purge after my first binge_.

I pulled at the toned muscles on my stomach. I ran every night with Jasper when he was here. I wasn't fat and I knew it.

I was fit and toned and muscular.

_Stop lying to yourself. You're fat and ugly and worthless and you know it._

Fat. Ugly. Worthless.

The words reverberated in my head until I couldn't take it. My hand snapped forward and I watched, almost as in slow motion, as the glass shattered and fell to the floor around my fist.

"Isabella." Ang screamed as she banged on the door.

She twisted the knob. It was pointless and we both knew it; the door was locked.

I stood and looked at the broken pieces of glass that littered the floor around my feet. I wiggled my toes, painted with the new shiny black polish, and watched the small pieces of shattered glass fall to the floor.

I heard Ang talking to someone quietly. I felt calmer; peaceful. A feeling I never had unless I was with Jasper.

"Isa."

I bent and picked up a piece of glass that was tainted red from the blood that slipped from my hand.

"Isabella."

I ignored Ang and sat on the counter, playing with the glass.

I ran the piece lightly over my past scars. I dug a little deeper and watched the tiny drops of blood float to the top.

I watched the blood well and slide of my skin. I tilted my head as I watched. I looked at the scar on my arm that read 'perfect'. I wondered if it would bleed more or less than the first time.

_Here's to trying._

**Jasper**

I was on my way to surprise Isa. I had been gone for the last few months because the fucking Volturi can't control their fucking vamps.

"_Isabella, please._"

I pushed myself harder when I heard Ang pleading with Isa. I slipped through the open bedroom door and went straight to her.

"Ang what's wrong?" I asked stopping her from hitting the door.

"We were in class and we were talking about you. Jessica and Lauren got jealous and said something. I can't even remember. Isa freaked and they both got hit. Lauren made a comment and we left." She was hysterical as she spoke. Her hands were waving and she had tears streaming down her face.

"We ate something, nothing big and then it all went downhill. She couldn't stop eating. She locked herself in there and she won't come out. She purged. Jas she binged and purged for the first time."

I hugged her as she sobbed and shouted Isa's name again. I could hear Isa through the door and smell her blood.

"She's bleeding." I whispered.

"Probably when she hit the mirror." Ang said sliding to the floor.

I could feel her despair and her hurt. I could feel Isa's curiosity, before I smelt more of her blood.

"She's cutting." I realized. "Isabella." I said knocking on the door.

I heard her heart rate pick up and her breathing stop.

"Isabella, open the door or I will break it down."

I heard the lock click and I let Ang open the door.

"Isa." She sighed as she walked over to her.

She was sitting on the counter looking down at her arm. I sighed heavily and held my breath. Her blood wouldn't bother me; it couldn't, she was my mate, but I wasn't taking any chances.

I leaned in the door way and watched Ang embrace her.

"I'm so fucking sorry." Isa sobbed out against Ang's shoulder.

Ang shushed her as she sobbed as well. She shifted and I heard the glass crunch under her feet.

I walked into the bathroom and lifted them together, running them to her bedroom. I set them on the bed and set about taking the glass from Ang's foot.

Once she was clean and bandaged, I looked at Isa.

She wiped at her face, clearing the tears and sniffled.

"Why?" I asked quietly as I cleared the blood from her arm. When it was cleared I noticed she went over the words on her arm.

"I can't do this." She whispered as she watched me clean her arm. "Not without you."

"You'll never be without me." I stressed as I pulled myself up to kneel in front of her. "Ever."

"I was doing so well when you were gone. I was I swear." She said looking at her bandaged arm. "And then those skanks had to interrupt everything."

Ang ran her fingers through her hair as she hugged Isa.

"Talk to me Isa." I said as she laced our fingers together.

"It's for attention right? My cuts; I do it for attention. Suicide; I think it, talk about it, for attention. I starve myself and cry myself to sleep all for attention. The fact that I hate everything about me. My stomach, my thighs, my hair, my teeth, my voice, my personality. The way my clothes look on me, the way I talk to people. How I care too much, how everything gets to me. I'm not smart enough. I hate how I want to be everything I'm not and I hate that I'm not good enough for anyone. But it's all for attention." Isa said letting her hair down.

"Charlie's coming down the street." I said hearing the cruiser turn the corner.

Isa and Ang ran to clean up the bathroom before I stopped them.

"Clean yourselves up. I'll clean the bathroom fast than the both of you."

I ran to the bathroom and cleaned it at vampire speed.

"Excuse for the mirror?" I questioned as I swept the floor.

"I saw a bug and freaked." Ang said. "Everyone knows I hate them."

"And we'll just say you came over as soon as you got back." Isa added pulling a sweatshirt over her head.

I nodded. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1."

"Bells." Charlie called as he opened the door.

"Coming. Ang and Jasper are here." Isa shouted back.

She wiped her face and put on some makeup as Ang did the same. They schooled their features before bouncing down the stairs.

"Hey girls." Charlie said. "And Jasper."

"Chief." I answered coming to a stop behind Isa.

She leaned into me, obvious to Ang and me but hidden to Charlie. "Hey dad. Dinner is in the warmer."

"Did you girls eat?" he asked.

"We did." Ang answered. "We were about to watch a movie."

"Well don't let me stop you."

With that we went back upstairs. I sat on the floor across from the bed and watched the girls cuddle together on the bed.

Once they were comfortable, they started whispering quietly, disconcerted with the fact I could hear their every word.

It was an unimportant conversation; apologies from Isa and forgiveness from Ang. When they finished, the sisterly love and contentment they let off felt nice.

Isa shared her love with me and I sent my own in return.

"Are you ok?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yep. Well as well as can be considering the obvious." She whispered.

I nodded and sent her my love and acceptance, as well as my pride and forgiveness.

Charlie came in and checked on us before he went to sleep. I sent him a heavy dose of lethargy that kept him asleep as the girls laughed their way through whatever movie they picked.

We watched Ang's favorite movie and they fell asleep curled together on the bed.

I covered them with an extra sheet, kissed Isa forehead and wrote her a note before slipping from the window and going to hunt.

I had just taken down a mountain lion when I heard Peter behind me.

"I checked on the girls." He drawled from his perch in the tree as I drained the feline. "Isa was awake."

"And?" I drawled in return as I buried the animal.

"I smelled the antiseptic, Major."

"And I'm sure she explained it to you."

"She never should've come up here. I knew it and she knew it."

I growled lightly. "Are you planning something?"

"She is. I'm just going along. Be prepared for the blowup that's expected in school tomorrow and the explosion that happens at the Cullen home as well. Have a fire extinguisher on deck."

I watched him race off towards the cabin and sighed.

I sat in the tree thinking and contemplating about life until the sun came up. At sunrise I ran to the cabin and went straight into the shower.

I washed off the dirt and blood that covered my skin. When I finished I dried off and pulled on my dark wash jeans and a black T-shirt.

I slid my feet in my old and worn, black boots and grabbed my keys and leather jacket before racing out to my truck.

I sped to Isa's house where I heard the sounds of her and Ang getting dressed.

"All black?" Ang asked.

"But of course." Isa answered.

I jumped through the window just as they pulled on shirts.

"And if we were naked?" Ang asked when she heard my light landing.

"Like he's never seen it before." Isa said quietly rolling her eyes. "He'll be alright."

Ang glared at me and I shrugged. Isa rolled her eyes again as she brushed her straight hair.

"Are you girls ready?" I asked throwing an arm around Isa.

She sighed and melted into my side. "I am."

"Let's go." Ang said grabbing her bag.

We walked to the truck and I sped to the school. We sat in the car talking easily until the tardy bell rang.

"I'm not feeling this whole first hour thing." Ang said.

"I never feel it." Isa said throwing her hair over my legs as she laid her head in my lap.

"As long as you're passing." I said playing with her hair.

"Thank god for super vampire shine proof tint." Isa said tapping a shoe against the window.

We stayed in the car until lunch and we walked to the cafeteria.

Isa got her usual granola bar and a lemonade. Ang got a chicken club with fries and a soda. I grabbed and apple and we walked to our isolated table in the corner of the room.

I picked at my fruit as Isa nibbled on her bar. Ang shoveled her food in her mouth as they had a conversation.

"I still think she's a slut." I heard Jessica say loudly from across the room.

"I wonder if she made herself puke for the day yet." Lauren added.

I felt Isa nod slowly against my arm, where her head rested.

"Valid questions." She muttered.

"Valid questions that need valid answers." Ang said as she finished her food.

"True. True. The bell rings in a few though. Maybe during class." Isa said.

The bell rang as she finished the sentence.

"You can always go up first." Ang said.

I wasn't here for the lesson so I didn't know what the topic was for this week's paper in AP Comp.

"Will do." Isa smirked.

I followed them to class without a word. I sat in my seat and let Isa sit on my lap. Ang sat next to us and we waited for Connor to walk in.

She walked in not too long after the tardy bell rang and started class.

"Since all of you were here for the week I doubt I should have to go over the prompt. Up first, Isabella."

Isa slid from my lap and handed Connor her paper.

"No filters." Connor reminded.

Isa nodded and tossed her hair. "So my paper is titled, _The Skinniest Bitch You Have Ever Seen_." She flipped her hair again before taking a breath.

"Are you calm?" Ang asked me.

I sent her my confusion as I nodded.

"Good keep it that way."

Isa let out a breath slowly. "Once upon a time there was a girl; a pretty girl with bright grey-violet eyes with soft mahogany hair in one French braid. When she was seven she saw her sister starve herself for perfection she never achieved; she didn't eat for two weeks. When she was nine she watched her brother kill his self over a single comment; she never read again. When she was twelve she watched the older girls wear short skirts and makeup; she went to school the next day with red lips and straight hair. When she was fourteen she watched her mother shoot her step father; the next year was spent in a juvenile correction center for assault. By the time her seventeenth birthday rolled around she was paper thin and hollow with straight black hair and red lips. Bruised knuckles and the same bright violet eyes.

"Staring in the bathroom mirror she thought to herself. 'This girl in the mirror, I wonder where she came from. Sometimes I know her, or at least I think so. Others I wish I did. The story in her eyes, always hidden, the lullabies and farewell. When I look at her, she looks back and I see she's hurting inside.' In reality all is said in four simple words. 'At least I'm normal.'"

Another sigh and a hair flip. "Somewhere between fourteen and seventeen, she was top of her class. At seventeen her grades dropped; from 98 to 92. She stopped eating too; from three meals to none. Sleep evaded her; from all day to lucky if she got an hour. Subtle changes; you'd have to be obsessed to notice; but slowly she fell apart. Piece by unimportant piece.

"They noticed then. The 92 turned into barely passing; fainting spells from no nutrition; deep bags hidden perfectly with cover up. They became obsessed then. Not that it mattered; she fell apart long ago and all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put her back together again."

Isa twisted her hair in her hands and clipped it to the top of her head. "The more they obsessed the less she cared. She ate when fed but it never stayed down longer than an hour. So on her knees she sat; head bowed hands folded, ready to give her sacrifice. Each offering, burned into her throat. She started to cry, her offering floating before her. Three more and it's gone. Another three and she finally feel empty. Three again and she loses herself. A final three rids her of her shaken soul, bloody heart and the remains of her sanity.

"Her first and last offering. She sat in the darkness of her room after. With a notebook a pen and a flame she wrote. _The Twelve Ana Commandments_ was the title.

Number one: Thou shalt never speak to a child how thou speaks to thy self.

Number two: Thou shall always remember; nothing is empowering in losing thy self. Tis a vanishing act; thou body thy hat pulling nothing. Thou body a clothing rack; thou body a favorite sweater, shrunken by the dryer.

Number three: Less is more and the less thy know the more thy know to more or less love thy self.

Number four: Thou shall remember; hair loss is a side effect of bulimia. Thou hair, a favorite; the only perfect on imperfection. If so hell bent on losing thy perfect, thou shall take a razor and shave. Braid thy friend a fucking scarf.

Number five: Thou shall know, thy is a beautiful martyr. Thou, a knuckle-kissing saint, a mother bird and all is thy children all so hungry. All thy children want to see a staircase around lungs; to hang ornaments from thy collarbone. All thy children want nothing from thy softness.

Number six: Thou shalt take heed. For big girls are not mentioned in magazines. For naught the horror of childbirth but for it is too real and all too bloody.

Number seven: Thou shall write a letter. Thy letter shall begin: 'Dear First World, for what a pity it is to have the privilege of self-hatred.

Number eight: Thou shall question. For Ana carries no loved ones. Where are thy loved ones; carried in coffins? Does thou doubt there is a body at all; a kin to many an empty suitcase. A kin to a silent instrument.

Number nine: Thou shall pull at thy torso; imagine hemming thy body. Thou shall always suck in; suck in and turn off the light, before thou let love run its course.

Number ten: Thou shall imagine Ana as an infant girl. Tell she, thy is not well enough; that thy is ugly. And when thy comes to thee, thou shalt never feed she.

Number elven: Thou should know. Thy body is no temple. For thy body is the home, thee has grown. How dare thee burn it to the ground? Thy is better than so; thy is bigger than so.

Number twelve: Thou shalt never forget thy prayer, for the most important. 'Dear Ana, thee is swallowing thy self, thy voice so little. Thy body so thin and fragile. I thank thee mother Ana.'"

She shook her head and sighed. With a small wave of love for me she continued.

"Three weeks before the big move. It happened; the breakup heard around the world. She did it smoothly, sweetly in all honesty. A poem, straight to the point. He read it front and center in the cafeteria.

'Roses are red, violet are blue. The sugar was sweet and, at one point, so were you. But the roses have wilted, the violets dead. Our sugar bowl is empty and my wrists stained red. The sun stopped shining, the sky turned grey; with no silver lining, one of us can't stay. With no end in sight, the rain keeps pouring, far from light, I lay there frozen. A beauty unreal, a smile like the sun, but time won't change what your actions have done. The words you wrote so only I read. 'I love you so little; I'll forget when you're dead.' The bond that we formed, a love ran free; the pain that she shared, a memory I keep. You held her close and wiped the tears from her eyes. But this is the moment I say my goodbyes. I'll let you go, you'll watch me leave. For beauty and stupid is all you should need. Tears on your face, memories of this moment. The roses all wilted, this relationship is frozen.'

Her parents never figured; never had a clue. For the little that they thought, was nothing close to a hint. They missed the little girl they thought they knew. Slowly but surely they came to notice. They'd lost their daughter years ago. The moved happened and she met two fuck awesome people."

She smiled softly at me and Ang. "They knew what it was like to have barely anyone there for you; to have no one that understands; no one to talk to. They hid their pain every day and never talked to anyone. Just like her they felt like they did nothing right; they were judged for every little action; never did anything correctly. They overthought and felt empty, same as her. They fake smiles and feel sad for no reason. They know and that bond formed. Unbreakable and undeniable; they became the best of friends."

A wave of love hit me and I shared it with Ang who beamed at Isa.

Isa twisted her hair and tossed it over her shoulder, shoved her hands in her back pockets and finished.

"She met two fuck awesome people and made tons of enemies. These are her thoughts. Fuck if she should care. She knows she's far from perfect and she knows she can't help her Ana tendencies. She will always pick at food and choose to eat small portions over larger. She will always never overeat. She will always dance like her life depends on it and she will do it happily. She will always be with him and he will always be hers; the world better come to grips with it now. She will always be his so that should be cleared up now. She will always fight for hers and will never again hesitate to put any bitch in their place."

She turned towards Lauren and Jessica. "She will make one last promise. If anyone is to talk shit halfway across the cafeteria, they will be put in check halfway across the cafeteria. If anyone is to throw shit halfway across the cafeteria, hands will be thrown in close relation to faces. And if anyone is to mutter anything under a breath, you will be asked to speak up before you get your ass beat."

She turned back to face the center of the room and said her last few lines. "She is sweatshirts in 90 degree weather and she is jean shorts in below zero. She is ballet and she is mini binges with her best friend. She is recovery and she is healthy. She is Isabella Swan and she will be the skinniest bitch you've ever seen."

* * *

A/N: so this is a short one. Three month skip and mostly a small hint of a relapse. Feedback makes me happy…


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